Q: Mr. Federal Way, why are teams of political people allowed to distract drivers by waving their signs and whooping it up at the intersections during election season? It seems hypocritical for state leaders to tell the public to drive safely, while at the same time, they try to grab the attention of drivers with their antics. The less distractions at the busy intersections, the better, right? What say you?

A: Mr. Federal Way may run for elected office one day and if that happens, Mr. Federal Way plans to steer a herd of elephants across Pacific Highway South (no political pun intended).

Now, that doesn’t mean that the sign wavers aren’t a distraction — they are. And many would agree with your viewpoints.

Just ask folks in Maryland’s Harford County what their county sheriff did in 1994 when he was the Democratic incumbent for the seat. He shunned street corner waving, claiming it was a distraction because it caused car accidents during rush hour in particular.

Voters have also criticized candidates for spending more time waving at cars than explaining their political views.

Nevertheless, if and when Mr. Federal Way runs for office, you can bet to see many fans doing some intersection reconnaissance. Mr. Federal Way may even lay down some smooth tricks with a sign, such as spinning or flipping. The biggest distraction is when a political candidate stands at an intersection and holds his or her sign still, while speaking to a supporter standing next to him or her. That’s enough to put someone to sleep. If you are going to ask for Mr. Federal Way’s vote, then you better be ready to whoop it up and show the community what you’ve got.

Mr. Federal Way has seen most of the 30th Legislative District candidates at various intersections at one time or another. If Mr. Federal Way were to base a vote on the candidate with the most street pizzazz and gusto, that vote would be cast for Mark Miloscia. Mr. Federal Way recently saw Miloscia at the intersection of 320th Street and First Avenue South, twirling his sign like a baton — in the rain. Now that’s dedication.

And while candidates are out there getting wild, don’t be afraid to throw in a creative sign. Newt Gingrich supporters, for example, waved “Toot for Newt” signs. Elsewhere, a state representative put a life-size cardboard cutout of himself on the sidewalk that showed him holding a sign. The representative stood behind the cutout, holding a sign that said, “Think twice before you vote.”

Mr. Federal Way wants to drive past The Commons mall and see incumbent Rep. Linda Kochmar outlined with a string of Christmas lights, hopeful Greg Baruso jumping on a miniature trampoline at the intersection of 312th Street and Pacific Highway and candidate Shari Song, well, singing her campaign slogans with a group of carolers at an intersection in Twin Lakes.

Now that’s politics.

But whether a candidate subscribes to these campaign shenanigans or not, Mr. Federal Way has one request: don’t come knocking or door-belling at Mr. Federal Way’s house. The biggest distraction is someone who disrupts Mr. Federal Way’s football games and that will not win Mr. Federal Way’s vote.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, do you lean politically right or left?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com