Q: Mr. Federal Way, the crime, shootings and murders are getting out of control in Federal Way. I don’t feel safe in this city and neither do my kids. What is wrong with people today? Why are there more shootings happening here?

A: Mr. Federal Way thought it was cute when he heard “Dreadful Way” and “Felony Way” as punny monikers for our fair city, but the names are a little less amusing these days after Federal Way doubled its year-to-date murder count in less than a week. Even scarier is that the crimes don’t appear to be related, according to the police chief.

When Mr. Federal Way moved to this city in 2002, murders hovered at around four per year and had decreased to zero by 2004. Mr. Federal Way thought for sure the city was doing something right, but then they jumped to six in 2005. Down again to one in 2006 and three in 2007 but then up again in 2008 with eight. Without checking the Federal Way Historical Society, the Federal Way News or old issues of the Federal Way Mirror, Mr. Federal Way is convinced the trend will continue in this roller-coaster fashion.

Still, five in five months begs the question: What can be done about all this bloodshed? Throwing money at this problem can’t fix it, but making sure a team equipped to handle crime in Federal Way is a good start. While it may come as a shock to some people, Mr. Federal Way applauds the police department’s efforts to increase patrols. Mr. Federal Way is fielding enough citizen complaints as it is, so he can’t imagine what the police department is going through. Until these shootings and murders stop, Mr. Federal Way suggests the community seize every opportunity to listen, learn and help. After all, it’s the citizens who are doing the shootings, not police and not city officials. They are not the ones to blame.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I’m surprised you haven’t commented on the Chamber of Commerce’s women’s summit and how only two men attended. It leads me to question – were you one of them?

A: Mr. Federal Way was not one of the men who attended the chamber’s women’s summit (and Mr. Federal Way did not hear the end of it from Mrs. Federal Way the entire weekend after, so thanks for bringing it up). In Mr. Federal Way’s defense, no letter, invitation or cryptic email was sent to him. He can understand the dilemma – Mr. Federal Way is an anonymous columnist who has a persona to uphold. Nevertheless, Mr. Federal Way knows Mayor Jim Ferrell doesn’t have the luxury of anonymity, nor does Chief of Staff Brian Wilson, Steve McNey – who does whatever it is that he does – Police Chief Andy Hwang, South King Fire and Rescue Chief Al Church, and all of the wannabe bigwigs in Federal Way who have a stake in this city.

Where were our new friends from IRG, the company that bought the Weyerhaeuser property? What about Wild Waves’ Jeff Stock, real estate guru Mark Clirehugh, or even financial genius, I Am Czar columnist, and@IhateDaySheltersANDFireBonds Mr. Matthew Jarvis? Do none of these guys care about equity in the workforce for women? Do they know no one who might be affected by this? Do they not realize that they would have gotten major points from women everywhere if that had been an event they’d gone out of their way to attend? Not to mention massive political clout, if that’s your prerogative – Mr. Federal Way is looking at you, Mr. Judge Dave Larson and Mr. Mayor.

Mr. Federal Way could afford to miss the women’s summit. Everybody hates Mr. Federal Way already. But Federal Way players, men and women, should take notice of which events they attend and which they don’t. It sends a pretty unmistakable message.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, who do you think would win in an arm-wrestling match – you or Mirror Publisher Rudi Alcott?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email your questions, complaints and hate mail to mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.