February is Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month. Let’s talk about teen dating violence.
1. Teen dating violence is too common. More than a third of all date rape victims are between 14 and 17 years old. One in four students knows someone in an abusive relationship (King County Domestic Violence Handbook; www.kingcounty.gov/domesticviolence) But really? Until we can say no relationships are abusive, it’s too common.
2. Teen dating violence is about power and control. One person uses social status, isolation, humiliation, violence, peer pressure, intimidation and/or threats to control a teen. Many teens lack experience in relationships, and are ignorant or confused about what a healthy relationship is.
Oregon is way ahead of Washington in taking action against teen dating violence by educating teens about healthy relationships. As of Jan. 1, 2013, Oregon’s Safe School Act includes the Healthy Teen Relationship Act, which states that “School boards must adopt a policy that … incorporates age-appropriate education about teen dating violence … for students in grades seven to 12 … and school employees” (from Oregon House Bill 4077, Chapter 69).
Yay, Oregon! Realizing the importance of education about healthy relationships is a great step. C’mon, Washington, we can do it! Who’s gonna sponsor a bill here? Anyone from the 30th District? Anyone?
3. Teen dating violence is everyone’s problem. Start by speaking out against teen dating violence and domestic violence. Did you see the president’s message during the Grammy’s? If not, go here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEx-qyZAmqs.
While you’re at it, check out www.itsonus.org — take the pledge, view some tips, watch some videos. You can even make your pledge-taking public by doing so on Facebook or Twitter to spread the word.
Parents and educators, don’t wait for a law to be enacted, we need to teach youth of all genders about healthy relationships. Washington state’s Attorney General’s Office has information on teen dating rights and responsibilities, including at least one lesson plan.
If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, know the signs and how to get help. Here are some resources:
• National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474; 1-866-331-8453 TTY
• www.LoveIsRespect.org
• www.BreakTheCycle.org
• www.ThatsNotCool.com
• For help with address confidentiality: www.sos.wa.gov/acp
• In Washington state, anyone age 16 or older may file for a protection order without an adult; under 16 years old need a parent or guardian with them. Go here for more information: http://protectionorder.org/
Teen dating violence affects not only teens, but also their friends and families. Do something today. Become educated, speak out or help a friend. It’s up to all of us to stop teen dating violence.
Federal Way resident Amy Johnson, MSW, is a trainer, educator and coach in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.
