Q: Mr. Federal Way, keeping with your recent comments supporting the idea that “important politics are local,” including school districts, what is your opinion of the large number of senior employee turnovers in the Federal Way school district? Has the school board hired another superintendent by mistake?

A: Assuming you’re correct and that you’re not referring to teacher retirees, Mr. Federal Way is going to go out on a limb and side with the district and school board on this one and say that’s a big, fat “no.”

Is it the superintendent’s fault teachers with experience can make more money in the Bellevue or Lake Washington school districts during a regional, statewide and national teacher shortage? Mr. Federal Way knows about the drama at Star Lake, but Mr. Federal Way has heard through the grapevine that the problems there go way back to the hiring of certain management, long preceding the school board’s most recent superintendent pick. If there are other situations around, Mr. Federal Way knows of none and suggests those juicy tidbits be emailed to him promptly. Either way, it’s not as though the superintendent works directly with teachers. There’s a bunch of principals, assistant principals and district staff between the two.

Is it the superintendent’s fault she walked into a district scrambling to save face after the lockup of a former school board president – hi Tony Moore! – and the loss of her predecessor, Superintendent He Who Shan’t Be Named, who didn’t have the cojones to see the district through that trying time and has a history of walking away, whistling innocently, from the smoldering ruins of the district he was tapped to lead?

Did the superintendent birth all of the students teachers have to teach? These students, who come with their own challenges each day, have struggles many suburban white children living in Bellevue don’t have to deal with. How does that affect a school district’s performance? How does that affect the atmosphere for a teacher in his/her classroom?

Mr. Federal Way’s not blaming the children, but Mr. Federal Way is definitely saying the district has its share of obstacles to overcome. It’s pretty silly to blame one individual person for the exodus of senior-level teachers from Federal Way schools, and those who do so should probably go back to school.

Frankly, given the sorts of things the year-into-it Federal Way Public Schools superintendent is dealing with, it seems like local politics at the school district level are working pretty well in our fair city. Hiring a superintendent is probably the most important thing a school board does, and the newperintendent seems like a good one: sharp and willing to right a far off-course ship. Time will tell, but Mr. Federal Way is pretty sure those five unpaid, overworked, under-campaigning weirdos are trying their best to atone for mistakes both old and Neu.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I’m very surprised that our Republican incumbents lost in the August primary. What does this mean for the November general election?

A: Every time Mr. Federal Way gets comfortable with this city’s political atmosphere, Federal Wayans pull a fast one. The 30th Legislative District really is a purple one, and Mr. Federal Way was surprised enough Democrats actually managed to drop their bongs, switch off their 50th Netflix binge of Arrested Development and fill out their ballots for yesterday’s primary — the two Dems in the race got more votes than either of their incumbent Republican opponents. Republicans in Federal Way usually feast when there’s low voter turnout, but this primary had none of the dramatic draw of the presidential election in 1868, which saw Ulysses S. Grant get elected and had 81.8 percent voter turnout (guess who has a fact-a-day calendar on his work desk?). This primary election got a whopping 24 percent of registered voters to lick a stamp — typical presidential election year primaries have around 40-45 percent of registered voters participate.

To be honest, Mr. Federal Way sympathizes. He hasn’t been as engaged in this particular local election compared to years past either. This one, sadly or happily, doesn’t have oddballs in it like Mark Greene, although Greene did run for lieutenant governor and do exactly as well as you’d expect. No, this year’s candidates are all sensible, intelligent people with sensible, intelligent ideas. Some don’t like to spend money, some think it’s OK in some cases. It’s the same old song. Maybe one of them is secretly aiming to legalize hunting humans for sport à la Richard Connell’s 1924 classic “The Most Dangerous Game” (fact a day!), but Mr. Federal Way hasn’t heard about it. If you have, Mr. Federal Way welcomes dirt on the legislative candidates in addition to the juicy tidbits about teachers. Keep ’em coming, folks. For democracy.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, did you go to National Night Out?

A: None of your business.

Got something for Mr. Federal Way? Email your questions, complaints and hate mail to mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.