Our awareness and reaction to diversity certainly changes with the times.

As a child watching old movies on television, I could infer that a peculiar three letter word meant a cigarette. By the time I was in junior high school, it was, along with many others, a derogatory word. But for me at that age, it had no further meaning than someone who was not into sports. Even during high school, while I may have understood who those words of hate were intended to target, it was all conceptual with no reality.

Reality made itself known during college when I walked into two men in a passionate embrace inside a restroom stall. It was like a romantic scene from a Burt Lancaster or Rock Hudson movie – and yes, I understand the irony in naming those two actors who could not openly live their realities for the audiences of their day. At that time the movie “Marathon Man” was playing in theatres. Hearing Dustin Hoffman being literally drilled with the question, “Is it safe?”, my internal monologue would be, “Only in the restrooms in the physics building; not in humanities.”

For some reason, the connection with humanities cropped up again years later at a different university. The folks in charge must have argued themselves in circles, strangling their brains to decide that all restroom stall doors in their humanities building would be removed. Who knows, maybe this time it was drug dealing that was the problem, because it seems overly exuberant displays of public affection could be solved with the three words, “Get a room!”

I found myself catching up with the times once again when I went to work as a staid federal bureaucrat for no less than the presumptively conservative Department of the Army. My reality was broadened to find a man wearing a dress to work. This man challenged many stereotypes in that he was a secretary (think “Mad Men” mindsets), he was well over six feet tall and he was an African-American. The most significant thing, however, was the fact that nobody seemed to care.

I felt a little bit more in-tune with the times last year during a “major” news story. I was pleased to discover what did shock me and what did not. I always thought it was two-time Olympic Decathlon champion Bob Mathias on my childhood Wheaties box. It was actually the only two-time male Olympic Pole Vault champion Bob Richards. He was the one later displaced by one-time Olympic Decathlon champion Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner. The transgender aspect of the story was not shocking; however, she did broaden my awareness about the unique challenges the transgender community faces in our society.

The media was diverted by political debates focused on public policy for access to gender based facilities (restrooms, locker rooms, etc.). Some would have the gas station attendant ask our gender before giving us the restroom key. I wonder how Mr. Federal Way might respond? I almost think some policymakers have argued themselves in circles and strangled their brains to create an imaginary threat of people rushing to enter the lady’s room to use the sink as a urinal.

On a more serious level are the parents concerned on philosophical or religious grounds that they prefer their children not be exposed, literally, to the other sex until the situation meets their parameters for when such conditions would be appropriate. This is a public policy discussion that can and should be held without demonizing any of the parties who hold disparate views. I hope our ever-expanding awareness of diversity in people and their challenges results in much more thoughtful decisions than those university policymakers from my days past.

We can take a cue from our youth today, who have organized clubs at our high schools open to all students to meet without persecution and share their interests, concerns and challenges, whether Straight-Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender-Queer. We can learn from their ability to speak thoughtfully and articulately about issues relevant to us all based on the words we often hear them say: “Don’t hate.”

Thank you for the opportunity to communicate my views on diversity with your readers.

Hiroshi Eto, a homeowner in Federal Way since 1988, returned in 2012 after retiring as a civilian member of the Army Corps of Engineers. He serves on the Federal Way Public Schools board as Director, District 5, and serves the city of Federal Way as a commissioner on the Diversity Commission.