Q: Seriously, Mr. Federal Way, how’s your bracket looking?

A: Didn’t Mr. Federal Way already tell you this was none of your business? If you think asking repeatedly is going to make Mr. Federal Way budge, think again.

Mr. Federal Way will talk brackets, however. Just not the bracket you’re thinking about.

Congratulations to the city of Federal Way reaching the Final Four. For what you ask?

Well it’s not exactly the best honor. For the past few years, streetsblog.org has been putting together their own “Parking Madness” bracket.

The bracket is basically for which cities in the United States (and, this year, even Canada) have the worst-looking downtown areas due to vast expanses of concrete used for parking.

When you look at the photo submitted for Federal Way – or just drive past the Commons Mall when it’s barely filled – it’s not hard to see why the city was nominated by some anonymous streetsblogger.

Before you get ahead of yourselves, no, Mr. Federal Way did not submit the nomination. Mr. Federal Way will not even entertain the notion of submitting something anonymously.

Mr. Federal Way does have some bones to pick with whomever submitted the photo, though.

Not all the areas outlined as parking are actually parking.

They’ve marked the whole of Town Square Park as parking. That was actually close to true with the previous iteration, which was Mr. Federal Way’s least favorite part about it, but the new iteration will thankfully be more park than concrete.

The area for the Performing Arts and Events Center also happens to be marked as parking.

Construction areas, apparently, equal parking over at streetsblog.org.

Still, Federal Way’s downtown area is mostly parking.

But Mr. Federal Way doesn’t see much you can do about that. When you have Wal-Marts and Targets and more than just a few other plazas, people are going to need to park to get to them. If it’s ever figured out, Mr. Federal Way predicts that the traffic problem in the city might improve a little bit as well.

Do you build more garages like the transit center and have people walk to wherever they’re going? Then you still have to figure out with what to replace the concrete wasteland.

Tulsa, Oklahoma, apparently won one of these before and decided to start taking steps to improve its layout and transit issues because of it. Maybe Federal Way could do the same.

Federal Way has already knocked off the pride of French Canada in Montreal, as well as our nation’s capital, in their run to the Final Four.

Dallas, Texas, or Muncie, Indiana, are next up, and Mr. Federal Way thinks there’s a good chance Federal Way takes the whole thing.

Where would we hang the banner?

Q: Mr. Federal Way, how about those Husky women?

A: How dare you insult Mrs. Federal Wa… Wait, you meant the University of Washington women’s basketball team making their first-ever appearance in a Final Four, didn’t you?

Well, they’ve been quite marvelous all season long. It should come as no surprise that they could make a run like this.

Twice they had to win in another university’s gym across the country. They never looked fazed by that fact.

Even better, one of the leaders on the team is Federal Way’s own Talia Walton.

The former Eagle has been a key part of the run and should be reason enough for everyone in the city to tune in this Sunday when they take on Syracuse.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what did you do for Easter?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email your questions, complaints and hate mail to mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.