Olympic swimming and local swimming | Q&A with Mr. Federal Way

Q: Mr. Federal Way, have any final thoughts on the Olympics? Best in show, worst?

  • Monday, August 29, 2016 5:00pm
  • Opinion
Mr. Federal Way. Contributed photo

Mr. Federal Way. Contributed photo

Q: Mr. Federal Way, have any final thoughts on the Olympics? Best in show, worst?

A: Mr. Federal Way picked this question specifically because it wasn’t about the fish factory. Mr. Federal Way addressed that last week, and he’s pretty sure that there will be more ink spilled this week on that topic that he can shake a bucket of chum at. So he’s going to let the rest of you surface to face the hurricane while he stays unda da sea.

Anyway, Mr. Federal Way enjoyed the Olympics as he always does. The United States cleaned up, winning its first gold medal in shooting – because of course – and then competing hard and winning 44 more. So that was nice. We won an additional gold medal in basketball, but Mr. Federal Way can’t really say with a straight face that the U.S. team had to “compete hard” in that one. Sorry Serbia.

The best in show to Mr. Federal Way was the women’s gymnastics team, because Mr. Federal Way is a sucker for feel-good stories and those athletes were pretty great. The worst was Ryan Lochte, who did fine in the Olympics but won’t be remembered for that. No, Lochte will be remembered for the robbery he suffered, then didn’t, and the bathroom he trashed, then didn’t, and for the endorsements he had, then didn’t. See you on “Dancing With the Stars,” Ryan, where greater careers than yours have gone to die. Say “hi” to Jodie Sweetin for me.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, did you go to Wild Waves at all this summer?

A: You’re a terrible person. Also, none of your business.

Got something for Mr. Federal Way? Email your questions, complaints and hate mail to mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.


Talk to us

Please share your story tips by emailing editor@federalwaymirror.com.

To share your opinion for publication, submit a letter through our website https://www.federalwaymirror.com/submit-letter/. Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We’ll only publish your name and hometown.) Please keep letters to 300 words or less.

More in Opinion

Don C. Brunell is a business analyst, writer and columnist. He recently retired as president of the Association of Washington Business, the state’s oldest and largest business organization, and now lives in Vancouver. He can be contacted at thebrunells@msn.com.
Coronavirus and the silver lining for airline industry | Brunell

It’s no secret that airlines and airplane manufacturers have been clobbered by… Continue reading

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact bjroegner@comcast.net.
State Legislature will reflect our changing society | Roegner

When you picture the Washington state Legislature, it usually looks like mostly… Continue reading

Martin Moore
The need to concede | Guest column

Guest column by Martin Moore, Federal Way City Councilmember

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact bjroegner@comcast.net.
Time to predict November’s election winners | Roegner

A look at statewide offices in Washington.

Woman holding a condom. Courtesy photo
Editorial: Referendum 90 serves parents’ choice, kids’ health

It assures — at parents’ option — all K-12 students can get age-appropriate sexual health education.

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact bjroegner@comcast.net.
Election outlook for South King County incumbents | Roegner

Legislative races and King County Charter amendments to watch.

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact bjroegner@comcast.net.
In politics, why is everything blue or red? | Roegner

The election could get even stranger.

Don C. Brunell is a business analyst, writer and columnist. He recently retired as president of the Association of Washington Business, the state’s oldest and largest business organization, and now lives in Vancouver. He can be contacted at thebrunells@msn.com.
Coronavirus stimulates RV sales and rentals | Brunell

Before the pandemic came ashore, the number of active camping households was increasing.

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact bjroegner@comcast.net.
A closer look at the Federal Way City Council finalists | Roegner

List of candidates has been narrowed from 24 to 5.

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact bjroegner@comcast.net.
I-940: Good policy, but watch closely | Roegner

State law regarding use of deadly force is finally seeing results in 2020.

Cartoon by Frank Shiers
Editorial: Let’s clear the air on wildfires, climate change

Agreement and commitment is needed to address the causes of wildfires and climate change.