Q: Mr. Federal Way, I saw that Colorado had a marijuana tax holiday Wednesday because they made too much money from taxes. Do you think that something like that could happen in Washington?

A: Mr. Federal Way did see the news on Colorado’s marijuana tax holiday and the numbers are quite interesting.

The state made more money from marijuana-specific taxes than they did with alcohol-specific taxes, a first for our nation.

Colorado made nearly $70 million from marijuana taxes to just about $42 million for alcohol.

That doesn’t factor in state sales tax, however, so it’s likely that alcohol is still making them more money.

The “holiday” is actually because the state exceeded their spending expectations and not because they exceeded their projections on marijuana tax collections.

The Colorado Taxpayers Bill of Rights has a provision that kicked in that forces the government to refund any of their spending money that they gained faster through inflation. They expected to lose around $3.6 million from the tax-free day on Wednesday.

Mr. Federal Way doesn’t touch the stuff, so Mr. Federal Way does not care one way or the other about tax-free weed. If the “holiday” isn’t giving Mr. Federal Way a day off or honoring someone worthwhile, it’s useless.

At the very least, Mr. Federal Way suggests a beer tax holiday just because the fridge needs to be restocked.

Or perhaps everyone should just celebrate national pancake day by bringing them to Mr. Federal Way on the 26th.

Back on topic, it’s also not going to happen for nearly the same reasons as Colorado if we had one in this state. We do not have a Taxpayers Bill of Rights. The best you’ll likely see is a gradual lowering of the crazy taxes on the stuff, much like what was recently approved.

If it did happen, have fun driving to a neighboring city early enough to get a spot in line. Who knows if the City Council will figure out their stance on marijuana stores anytime soon. They keep saying they will, but we know how that goes.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, did you watch the Seahawks opener? It was brutal to watch. I’m not even talking about the game, just all the ads for fantasy football sites.

A: Yes, Mr. Federal Way did watch the game and would prefer to remember nothing of it.

So thank you for sending this in for Mr. Federal Way to talk about.

The game itself went about as poorly as possible and while Mr. Federal Way would love to talk about things like Mama Lynch calling for offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell’s job or Kam Chancellor’s holdout, or how swell rookie receiver Tyler Lockett looks, Mr. Federal Way will stick with your topic of choice.

The only thing worse than the Seahawks offensive line in the game were the ads. Every break in the game had to have been sponsored by DraftKings or FanDuel.

They aren’t even good commercials. Sweaty guys pacing in a bar looking disheveled as the narrator tells you that this is what people who won $1 million look like is not helping their cause. It looks like they’re all constipated.

Perhaps they look like that because they’re putting their monthly rent on the line just to win it. Imagine what the people who didn’t win the money look like.

You could probably run a nice haunted house with them by October if you could find a few.

Even worse, we live in Washington where we couldn’t participate in this if we wanted to due to our laws on sports betting.

Don’t worry, you can still play in their free leagues and probably help subsidize them more through the ads on their page (if they have them on there, Mr. Federal Way stays away from shady places not named City Hall).

Despite being off-putting to the majority of those watching the games, the NFL couldn’t care less being they’re raking in the money while the sites are still legal.

Expect a few investigations into these kinds of sites in the very near future.

If you think you can win that $1 million, you better get started quick. Good luck at beating the guys who are betting their mortgages on here and made this their job. Yes, they do exist.

Maybe Mr. Federal Way should join them in selling out for cash on this column. “Mr. Federal Way’s Q and A brought to you by Billy McHale’s.” Has a nice ring to it.

Or maybe Mr. Federal Way can just get sponsored by another columnist. “Bob Roegner presents Mr. Federal Way’s Q and A.” It’s probably more likely to happen than Mr. Federal Way getting a raise. Think about it, Mr. Roegner.

But in all seriousness, Mr. Federal Way hopes that the fantasy ads don’t last all season at their current frequency. And the Seahawks better get it together too.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what exactly did you do during your staycation last week?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com