Gender gains, gaffs and goals | Sex in the Suburbs

Gender issues certainly took the media spotlight in 2015. From Caitlyn Jenner coming out, to Anne Lamott embarrassing herself when tweeting her ignorance of trans issues, to Jeffrey Tambor winning an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in Amazon’s show “Transparent,” gender was subjected to popular and public debate, with wildly differing points of view.

Gender issues certainly took the media spotlight in 2015. From Caitlyn Jenner coming out, to Anne Lamott embarrassing herself when tweeting her ignorance of trans issues, to Jeffrey Tambor winning an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in Amazon’s show “Transparent,” gender was subjected to popular and public debate, with wildly differing points of view.

If you are among those who wish this topic would fade into the sunset, you’re out of luck. These issues aren’t going away in 2016.

In November, the Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus launched a task force on Transgender Equality. This group consists of nine bipartisan members of the House of Representatives, and will advocate for change in issues that disproportionally impact the transgender community, like violence, unemployment and homelessness. Their first forum focused particularly on how these concerns affect trans people of color

In addition, the United Nations Human Rights Commissioner issued a report in June recommending the prohibition of medically unnecessary procedures on intersex children.

Traditionally, children who are born with conditions called “disorders of sexual development” or “intersex conditions” have variation in their chromosomes, hormones or anatomy that differ from typical male or female development.

Too often, these infants and children are “subjected to treatment to force their physical appearance to align with binary sex stereotypes,” according to the report. The Committee of the Rights of the Child and the Committee Against Torture called for an end to the practice to such procedures, which are “typically irreversible and can cause severe, long-term physical and psychological suffering.”

The fact that national and international groups are calling for a change in how we treat people who do not neatly fit into a stereotypical male or female box is progress toward it becoming mainstream that we recognize gender as a spectrum and not binary.

It is progress toward a time when we don’t classify kids as “pink” or “blue” before they are even born, and then work unconsciously and consciously to mold them into one of two versions of gender.

It is progress toward a time when we treat people with respect and are not so threatened by someone’s appearance and identity that we resort to violence against infants, children and adults in order to protect our view of the world.

To bring this down to every day actions, here are some tips to create a more welcoming and inclusive environment in your home, your school, your work place, or your faith community:

Avoid using words like ladies, gentlemen, ma’am, sir, girls and guys. Instead, consider using more inclusive words like friends, folks, everyone, children, people and you all.

Avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender identity.

Respect a person’s identity, what name they use and what pronouns they use.

Designate a gender-neutral or single-occupancy bathroom in your facility.

If you use forms that ask for gender, include a fill-in-the blank option and allow people to check more than one box.

For more information about gender diversity, check out the following resources:

www.genderdiversity.org: a Pacific NW organization providing education and support services about gender diversity;

www.uua.org/lgbtq/identity/transgender and www.openandaffirming.org/resources: information about and resources for ways faith communities and others can be more welcoming and inclusive of LGBT people;

www.qmunity.ca/news/gender-inclusive-language-sheet/: downloadable and printable card to encourage and empower everyone to be mindful of language.

Why should we care about all of this? Because ignorance breeds violence and division. Standing up for people who are marginalized makes our society stronger and it’s the right thing to do. Start the New Year off well with an intention of more inclusion, more welcoming and more equality.

Federal Way resident Amy Johnson, MSW, is a trainer, educator and coach in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books, “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Amy facilitates classes and workshops in the Puget Sound area and online. She specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education. Amy can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.