Q: Mr. Federal Way, I am a volunteer and I often clean up trash along the BPA trail and Celebration park. During my walks, I have picked up numerous dog poop bags with feces inside that have been thrown into bushes, shrubs and the grass areas along the trail. Mr. Federal Way, why do you think some dog owners make the effort to pick up after their dog but don’t go the extra step in actually taking it to the trash cans?

A: Well there could be any number of reasons but lack of garbage cans or pure laziness sounds like the most plausible. In a previous Q&A with Mr. Federal Way, a resident asked about park upkeep and Mr. Federal Way discovered the 30-plus parks don’t get enough love because there’s not enough maintenance crews to clean, prune and manicure every park Federal Way has to offer.

Mr. Federal Way commends your voluntary efforts to pick up the poo. Federal Way should be so lucky to get more people like you (points for rhyming). Mr. Federal Way suggests the short-term plan would be to hire more park cleaner-uppers. But the long-term should look something like a local legislator touting the environmentally friendly use of BioBags, the biodegradable alternative to plastic pet poop bags. Mr. Federal Way thinks that legislator would win at least the August primary.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I heard Harborview Medical Center announced it will be open for potential Ebola victims. What do you think about that?

A: While the thought of bringing infected persons to our northwest neck of the woods undoubtedly makes Mr. Federal Way want to wash his hands an extra umpteenth time, the reason behind their “sentiment” is understandable. Harborview Medical Center is one of five hospitals in the entire country willing to treat the patients who may be airlifted from West Africa.

And it’s because Harborview is a damn good hospital with the top trauma center in the state. Not to mention, it’s near the coast, which makes sense from an international standpoint. Local and state health officials say that all hospitals should know how to evaluate and manage Ebola cases. But if St. Francis Hospital, the Virginia Mason Medical Center or the Seattle Children’s Hospital branch in Federal Way starts accepting patients, maybe it might hit home a little more. Mr. Federal Way hopes to never find out.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, will you be attending the Chamber Gala on Nov. 15?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.