Following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:
• Not the brown substance you are thinking: At 11:57 April 4, a Federal Way police officer was dispatched to the Auburn jail to pick up a suspect with a Federal Way warrant for $3,100. After arresting the man and transporting him to the Regional Justice Center in Kent, jail staff reported to the Federal Way officer that the suspect had produced a small baggie of a brown substance from his “anal area” while in the restroom, according to the report. The baggie was taken into evidence and a charge of possession of narcotics was added to his rap sheet.
• Fake bill, plus weed: At 1:34 p.m. April 4 in the 27000 block of Pacific Highway South, an employee of AM/PM called police to report that a teenage boy was attempting to pass a fake $100 bill at the store. The teenager waited at the AM/PM until police arrived and stated that he didn’t know the bill was fake, according to the report. Upon further investigation, police located the boy’s backpack and found that it contained a small amount of marijuana. Police found no evidence that the boy knew the $100 was fake and the marijuana was destroyed, according to the police report. The case is now closed.
• Argument: At 2:05 p.m. April 4 in the 800 block of South 320th Street, an officer driving along the road saw a male and a female arguing. When the officer was pulling up to the couple, the female waved for help. According to the police report, the two were arguing over money. After the pair calmed down, the male gave the female the money he allegedly owed her and they left in separate directions.
• Stolen vehicle: At 10:07 p.m. April 6 in the 33000 block of 37th Place Southwest, a mother called police to say that her son had stolen her vehicle and refused to return it because he was headed to Kent. According to the report, the son also missed a counseling appointment two days before because he was having problems at school.
• Too much discipline?: At 3:29 p.m. April 6 in the 32000 block of 19th Place South, a girl called 911 to report that her father assaulted her at their apartment. Upon further investigation, the officer determined the physical discipline was reasonable under state law. According to the police report, the father slapped his 14-year-old daughter in the head for back-talking. The man’s 17-year-old daughter asked the officer to complete the report because their father was verbally and physically abusive for no reason, according to the report.
