Q: Mr. Federal Way, do you have any New Year’s resolutions this year that you’d care to share?

A: Mr. Federal Way recently went down a pants size, so weight loss is out of the question. And even if Mr. Federal Way still had a few pounds to shed, weight loss wouldn’t be on Mr. Federal Way’s New Year’s agenda anyways. It’s trite and it gets in the way of the chicken wings and beer splurges on game night.

Mr. Federal Way does, however, resolve to give up feeling so pessimistic about certain things and head into 2015 with a sense of optimism. One can hope that city leaders can change overnight and do what Mr. Federal Way says.

OK, this one is going to take some work.

That said, Mr. Federal Way has something more fascinating to share with readers — a list of what Mr. Federal Way wants people in positions of leadership to do in 2015.

Here is Mr. Federal Way’s New Year’s resolutions for public officials and high-up-the-chain wannabes in Federal Way:

• I, Mayor Jim Ferrell, resolve to stop caring so much whether my colleagues and constituents like me and start leading with a take-charge, I-don’t-give-two-hoots-what-you-think-about-me attitude.

• We, the Federal Way City Council, pledge to vote on an issue based on what is right for those who elected us, not along party lines or because we don’t want to be made to feel outcast. I, Councilwoman Susan Honda, pledge to continue to lead by example when it comes to voting for what is right and I resolve to offer my fellow Council members a lesson on how to do this the right way.

• We, the City Council and Ferrell, vow to work with human services organizations and the community to find a place for the homeless to go during the day to take showers and find social services assistance. And, to make it a priority before the sun shines and the spring flowers blossom.

• We, the mayor’s trusted staff and advisers, resolve to stop being so paranoid about perceived boogeymen. Not everyone is out to get the city and it’s OK to work with — and even trust — outside entities. Ponder this.

• We, the King County Council and Pierce County Council, pledge to stop. Just stop. This ridiculous quarreling over the process on how to fill the vacancy caused by Rep. Roger Freeman’s death is just a game of how to drag this out the longest.

Voters in the 30th District don’t care whether the decision should be made separately or jointly. Their interest is ensuring the 30th District has full representation in Olympia come the start of the 2015 Legislative session. We, the County Councils, promise to get it together, choose a candidate, stop whining, forge ahead and stop giving our constituents and Mr. Federal Way a headache.

• We, the Federal Way Public Schools board of directors, vow to find a qualified pool of candidates to choose from for the district’s new superintendent. Interim Superintendent Sally McLean is a good find, but we pledge to keep an open mind and to scour the countryside for all possible leads. If McLean rises above the best, then more power to her and may the best man or woman win.

• I, Sen. Mark Miloscia, resolve to indulge in my new position of power for the next couple of weeks leading up to the Legislative session. But I vow to move beyond the shiny-new-penny mode and get serious when I get to Olympia, buckle down and start passing legislation that is important to my constituents.

• I, Rep. Linda Kochmar, vow to speak up and tell city officials what I really think about some of their decisions. And if they don’t care to listen, perhaps they don’t need their state representative’s help finding them millions of dollars more for the Performing Arts and Conference Center.

• We, Kochmar and Miloscia, pledge to help the city support their college initiative, address regional equity in affordable housing, support the Performing Arts and Conference Center, fund the Triangle Project completion and help establish a regional hygiene shelter for the homeless population.

• We, the South King Fire and Rescue board of commissioners, resolve to be more transparent, post all meetings, board and otherwise, to the district’s website so constituents can stay informed. We vow to generate more press releases to the media, get active on Twitter and Facebook and step out of the good old boys club. It’s a whole new world.

• We, the Des Moines City Council, pledge to work with residents, state representatives and other stakeholders to rebuild the boardwalk at Redondo Beach.

• We, the Lakehaven Utility District, resolve to stir up some kind of sediment in the water so that we can have our moment of fame in the sea of controversy. Got dirt?

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what is your biggest regret this year?

A: None of your business.