The following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:

Man found bleeding: At 3:55 a.m. on June 7 at an unknown address, officers were called with South King Fire and Rescue to a report of a man bleeding from the face at a 7-Eleven. Upon arrival, the man tried to get away from police and was extremely intoxicated and uncooperative. He was mostly incapable of standing or walking without falling over.

He eventually stated to the effect of being “jumped,” but refused to provide his name or any other information about a crime or any suspects or the location incident and repeatedly stated that he just wanted to go home. He was involuntarily committed due to his inability to care for himself.

Man tries to use fake movie money: At 2:16 a.m. on June 7 at 27515 Pacific Highway S., a white male, with a medium build  in a blue sedan attempted to use counterfeit money in the drive-thru at McDonald’s. The man left the scene prior to police arrival. The man attempted to use a $100 bill that said “for motion picture use only” on it and then a $20 bill with insufficient marks on it. The counterfeit money was submitted to police for evidence.

Woman attempts to steal water vehicles: At 9:43 a.m. on June 7 in the 2300 block of South 304th St., a man called police saying a woman swam across Steel Lake and was trying to steal his and a neighbor’s canoe. When police arrived, they found the woman had removed her pants and swam back into the middle of the lake on an inflatable raft the neighbor said he didn’t want back.

When called back to shore, the woman cursed at officers and continued to the north shore of Steel Lake. Officers contacted the female as she was trying to take a paddle boat from another dock. The woman had mental issues and was found to have two domestic violence warrants out of Auburn. The woman was booked at SCORE jail without incident.

Expensive jewelry stolen: At 3:52 p.m. on June 7 in the 3100 block of SW 310th St., police responded to a residential burglary that took place over the weekend. The woman who reported the crime had left for work on June 5 and discovered her house was ransacked when she returned home on June 7. She found that the window near the front door was smashed and the front door was unlocked.

Police were informed by the woman that $30,000 worth of antique jewelry was stolen from the master bedroom, as well as credit cards, personal checks and a pillow case. Around $500 worth of antique silver serving utensils were stolen from the dining room as well. There are no leads on who committed the burglary at this time.

Ex-boyfriend assaults woman: At 7:26 p.m. on June 7 in the 2500 block of S. 286th Place, police responded to a report of physical domestic abuse. The victim told police she heard a knock at her door and opened it only to see her ex-boyfriend.

The ex-boyfriend reached into her doorway and pulled her out of the house by her hair. He pulled her to a staircase doorway and held her up against it. He then told her “if I could get away with it, I would kill you right now.” He brandished a pistol at the victim. As the victim began screaming out of fear, a neighbor came out and yelled at her ex-boyfriend. He let her go and fled in his vehicle prior to police arrival.

Man involuntarily committed: At 3:10 p.m. on June 6 in the 1300 block of S. 320th St., a man entered the restroom of a business, got naked and refused to exit when  another individual asked him to. The man stumbled while his body moved uncontrollably. He was unable to focus and have a normal conversation. After police arrived, they found several hypodermic needles and a spoon on the man during a pat down. The man also had a bag of fecal matter with him. He was involuntarily committed.

Acquaintance steals man’s vehicle: At 2 p.m. on June 6 in the 30800 block of 14th Ave. S., police responded to a call from a man about a missing vehicle. The man stated that at about 1:30 a.m. he gave a ride to an unknown female from Fife/Tacoma. They arrived at his home at 2 a.m. and he told her she could sleep in the car. The victim forgot he had an extra set of keys in the console and when he came out in the morning, the female and his car were gone. The victim has no name or contact information for the suspect and said she did not have permission to take his car.

Drunken man wields knives: At 7:19 p.m. on June 6 in the 29600 block of 21st Place S., a man was arrested for chasing and threatening minors while holding knives. The man was with his roommates and drinking heavily around 3 p.m. He left the house and began speeding down the road. His roommates called 911 to report him for driving drunk at that time. He returned shortly after leaving and asked his roommates if they wanted to see his guns. His roommates left at this point because they were uncomfortable.

The man tripped over a fire pit and sustained scratches after going back outside. Shortly thereafter, he crashed his motorcycle into a garage. Children who were playing on the basketball courts then called out to him to see if he was OK.

The man yelled racial slurs at them and began to yell that he “was going to slit their throats.” He climbed the fence between them and was holding knives in his hands. The kids began to run away from the man and were able to escape without harm. The man was arrested. The knives were not recovered on the day of the arrest, but the man’s roommates were able to have police photograph them the following day.

Unprovoked assault: At 9:19 a.m. on June 5 in the 400 block of S. 316th Place, police responded to a report of an assault. A man was visiting his friends when an acquaintance of theirs assaulted him. The man went into the kitchen upon arrival and put a slice of pizza into the microwave. The acquaintance walked up to him, said “What’s up?” and nudged him with his elbow.

The man responded back “what’s up” in return. At this point, the acquaintance then struck him in the face several times for no apparent reason and left the residence shortly after. The victim’s lip was busted open and he received cuts after falling through the glass front of a cabinet. Police were unable to find the man who committed the assault.

Fitbit thief: At 1:17 p.m. on June 4 at 2201 S. Commons, police arrested a woman who stole three Fitbits, five Crest whitening strips and some cosmetics — valued at $561.89 — from Target. When arrested, she claimed she stole all of these items for personal use. The woman had multiple warrants. She was booked at SCORE for her Puyallup theft warrant.

Man calls police on girlfriend: At 2:36 p.m. on June 4 in the 33300 block of 24th Ave. SW, a man called 911 to report a dispute between him and his girlfriend. He said his girlfriend was throwing his belongings out of the house. When police arrived, the man was irate. He claimed his girlfriend assaulted him, but there were no witnesses to confirm the allegation, nor were there any injuries on either person.

His girlfriend stated she tried to push him out of her house. He said he just wanted his motorcycle, DVD movies and a snake tank. The woman refused to hand over the motorcycle because she claimed she bought it, as well as the DVD movies. She allowed him to take the snake tank, but he did not have room in his vehicle. He became very upset. While leaving, he stated, “I’ll be back! Don’t let me catch you on the street!” A domestic violence pamphlet was issued to the woman.

Man arrested for burning stepdaughter: At 2:29 p.m. on June 4 in the 2500 block of S. 286th Place, police responded to a report made by a 9-year-old that her stepfather burned her with a hot spatula. She told officials at her elementary school that he burned her after she went into the kitchen while he was cooking.

He told the children to stay out while he cooked pancakes. She went in to stop her younger sibling who went into the kitchen. She stated that he became upset and put the spatula on her arm and burned her.

Police contacted the stepfather shortly after. He claimed that he did not burn the child purposely, but that grease may have splashed on her from the pancakes. Police arrested the man and he was booked into SCORE jail for second-degree assault of a child.

Milk crate causes argument: At 9:14 p.m. on June 4 in the 400 block of S. 325th Place, police responded and spoke with a woman who was crying. She explained she stubbed her toe on a milk crate and began yelling. Her daughter thought she was yelling at her and the two became involved in an argument that turned to pushing and shoving. She was upset the two argued over such a silly matter. Police called and spoke with the daughter. She stated essentially the same account and said she left to cool off and end the argument. A check of the apartment revealed the milk crate where the woman said it was and there was no sign of a struggle. A domestic violence pamphlet was provided.

Man hit in hit and run arrested: At 2:59 p.m. on June 3 in the 31200 block of Pacific Highway S., A man called police to report he was the victim of a hit and run at State Route 99 and South 312th Street. When police contacted the man, a strong smell of alcohol was coming from him. The man declined to perform sobriety tests and was arrested for DUI. He was transported to the station where he blew a .169 and .151 blood alcohol content level. He was processed for DUI and taken home.

Pop tart argument: At 10:29 a.m. on June 2 in the 1900 block SW Campus Drive, police conducted a welfare check for an elderly woman, who was home with another relative. She told police that she sustained a scratch on her left forearm from her great-granddaughter during a dispute about pop tarts.

Her great-granddaughter told her she could not eat the pop tarts and the elderly woman became upset. The great-granddaughter accidentally scratched her great-grandmother’s arm while holding on to her to prevent her from eating the pop tart. There were no other injuries. The elderly woman said she feels safe at home. She stated she does not like her great-granddaughter.

Grandson punches grandfather: At 1:23 p.m. on June 1 in the 3300 block of First Way S., a grandson punched his grandfather multiple times. The victim brought his grandson to the Valley Cities facility to talk to someone about his behavior as of late due to a break up with a girlfriend.

When leaving, the grandson would not get in the car. While the victim was in the driver’s seat, the grandson punched the victim in the face two times. The victim got out and the grandson punched him several more times in the face causing injury. The victim got inside the office building and was locked inside by an employee. The grandson was arrested and booked into juvenile hall.