Following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:

Church youth teacher accused of inappropriate advances: At 11:12 a.m. on April 2 in the 31000 block of 21st Ave. SW, the reporting party contacted police and said he had been “inappropriately approached and kissed” by a youth teacher at his church. According to the report, the 15-year-old victim’s teacher, a woman described as in her 40’s, “sat on his lap while he was sitting on a chair” and that when he attempted to avoid her, she kissed him on his lips.

The report notes the victim recorded a number of voicemails from the woman, in which she calls him “her love” and at one point says, “And what position between me and you? What we can do after, I don’t know.” The victim was then contacted by the woman’s husband, who said, “I’ll find you. Our guys will find you. Get away from me Satan,” the report continues. The victim was primarily more concerned with getting in trouble over the incident, rather than any safety concerns that may have been derived from the husband’s statement.

Counterfeit $20: At 10:35 a.m. on April 1 in the 28000 block of Military Road S., a store employee reported a counterfeit $20 was found in the previous night’s till.

Unoccupied home vandalized: At 12:28 p.m. on April 1 in the 33000 block of 22nd Ave. SW, a bank representative contacted police to report that unknown suspects had vandalized an unoccupied, bank-owned home. The report notes the same home had been burglarized in recent weeks.

Accidental discharge of firearm: At 3:54 p.m. on April 1 in the 900 block of SW Campus Drive, a firearm owner accidentally discharged his or her firearm, resulting in the bullet lodging itself in a neighboring apartment. The report notes no one was injured.

Roommates argue over shampoo: At 9:16 p.m. on April 1 in the 32000 block of 32nd Ave. SW, two roommates got into an argument when one accused the other of stealing his “hair thickening” shampoo.

Man and woman caught breaking into mailboxes: At 3:35 a.m. on March 31 in the 31000 block of First Ave. S., a male and female were observed breaking into an apartment complex’s mailbox cluster. According to the report, police located the duo a short time later and arrested them. The suspects’ vehicle was impounded.

Vehicle batteries stolen: At 8:27 a.m. on March 31 in the 1000 block of S. 344th St., unknown suspects broke into three vehicles owned by the same company, and stole the batteries from said vehicles.

Mail theft: At 2:24 p.m. on March 31 in the 35000 block of 16th Ave. S., an apartment complex manager reported that unknown suspects had broken into the complex’s mailbox cluster.

Taxi driver assaulted: At 5:45 p.m. on March 31 in the 33000 block of First Ave. S., a taxi cab driver was assaulted by his passenger. According to the report, the passenger is known to the driver and has known mental issues.

Man exposes himself: At 9:21 p.m. on April 1 in the 1300 block of SW Campus Drive, a woman reported that a “white male, between 40 to 50 years old, with brown hair” exposed his penis to her as she passed by his car at an apartment complex. According to the report, the suspect was parked in the driveway of the apartment complex and attracted the woman’s notice by pretending to ask for directions to Winco. The report notes the vehicle was described as a “white older model Ford sedan with an Oregon license plate.”