Q: Mr. Federal Way, what did you think of all of the election results?

A: Well, Mr. Federal Way for one is glad it is over. Mr. Federal Way knows about as much about politics as the interior workings of the human digestive tract, though, they both produce about the same results.

All in all, there weren’t too many surprises. Teri Hickel defeating incumbent Carol Gregory was probably about the biggest and even that wasn’t a huge surprise as she led by two points coming out of the primary.

Perhaps the biggest issue Mr. Federal Way sees is the lack of good talent available. A good majority of all of the politicians was a recycle of previous elections or not even worth the vote. One was so unqualified he doesn’t even have transportation. Hard telling how that was going to work. “Hey mayor, if I vote with you at tonight’s City Council meeting, can I bum a ride home?”

Another has shoes older than Mr. Federal Way. Seriously. He said so at the debates. For the 16 of you who did take the time to vote, thank you for that. Go find the candidates you voted for. They should buy you a drink. You’ve earned it.

Q: What is the deal with the Mirror’s editorial board and all of their endorsements? Do they ever get any of their endorsements correct?

A: Not really. Their batting average is lower than the Mariners. Perhaps some of them should be traded also. To give them the benefit of the doubt, these things are notoriously hard to predict. No one knows what the general public will do.

Case in point. The public picked candidate Mark Greene over Anthony Murrietta in the primary election. Who saw that one? If you said you did, you’re lying? Not even Greene was foolish enough to pick himself.

Mr. Federal Way consulted the paper’s political guru Bob Roegner on this and posed this same question. He said, in a nutshell — that boy likes to hear himself talk — that the Mirror’s editorial board usually picks who should win, not who will win. This is where the politics come in and the board doesn’t like to play politics. This is probably more true than not.

Mr. Federal Way can attest to this as I like politics about as much as that 50-year-old “men’s exam” I have coming up. The board has quite a few older men. They can relate and based on the relative age of the people calling into the front desk, so can most of you.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I was disheartened to see the Federal Way mayor was not at the Greater Federal Way Chamber of Commerce’s annual awards gala on Saturday. Isn’t this a major event?

A: The bigger question is why didn’t Mayor Jim Ferrell bother to attend this major event? Mr. Federal Way gets sick from time to time, especially of Federal Way’s politics. So if the mayor truly was sick and couldn’t attend, then it better have been due to a major flu or E. coli.

Mr. Federal Way also knows how important it is to attend his kids’ soccer and football games, but checking the local sports schedules, Mr. Federal Way is unaware of any sports happenings between 6-9 p.m. on Saturday. So “spending family time” is not a good enough excuse either, Mr. Mayor.

Why should the mayor attend the Chamber’s gala?

One of the organization’s core goals is to improve the economic vitality not only for its members, but for the entire community and region. And, coincidentally, one of the mayor’s main goals is to improve economic vitality for Federal Way. This is why he built, re-built and re-re-built a downtown park that, along with the Performing Arts and Events Center, will create an actual downtown for Federal Way and serve as a catalyst for downtown development.

“Federal Way will be a city in which the economic recovery takes full root and takes off, we’ll actively recruit new businesses and retain existing businesses, we’ll stimulate an economic renaissance in the downtown that transforms the core of our city …” Ferrell said in his 2013 state of the city address that the Chamber hosted.

In that same speech he said the city would “link arms with our business community to strengthen our economy …”

Apparently, the mayor’s arms were too tired on Saturday.

During the event, Chamber CEO Rebecca Martin recognized three businesses for their leadership in the region, including St. Francis Hospital, the Federal Way Farmer’s Market and the Northwest Seaport Alliance. These are prestigious local awards and certainly deserving of the mayor’s applause.

But perhaps his hands were too tired as well on Saturday.

Business leaders in Federal Way should feel the mayor ignored them on Saturday as they were not important enough to draw him to Tacoma for a few hours. What does that say about our fair city of Federal Way that our own mayor was absent at the event, but Milton Mayor Debra Perry was present to show her regional support for the business community? Tsk, tsk.

Mr. Federal Way thanks all, err, the two council members who did bother to show up — Councilwoman Susan Honda and Jeanne Burbidge. There were also a handful of other local elected officials who showed their support for Federal Way businesses, including Rep. Linda Kochmar, Sen. Mark Miloscia and school board members Claire Wilson and Geoffery McAnalloy.

Perhaps this Christmas the mayor can ask Santa for a new planner to help him keep his plans in order and his priorities straight.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, did you attend the recent Chamber gala?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com