Label craze and students behaving badly | Q&A with Mr. Federal Way

Published 1:15 pm Monday, December 14, 2015

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I heard the Mirror is launching a new diversity section in January. Why do we need a special section? If it’s newsworthy or of public interest, just put it in the paper. Why does everything have to have a label? I’m not so sure those with special interests or needs want to be called out as anything other than a citizen of the Federal Way community.

A: Mrs. Federal Way is two doorknob twists short of being a compulsive cleaner and organizer. What makes Mr. Federal Way even more nervous is that she labels everything — from our salt and pepper shakers to our kids’ names on the inside labels of their coats. Mr. Federal Way understands the latter may help school staff figure out who the coat belongs to should one of our kids accidentally leave their coat in the principal’s office.

But if you don’t know that salt should go in the shaker with more holes because it is coarser than pepper, then you don’t deserve the satisfaction of enhancing your food’s flavor (Mrs. Federal Way would argue that pepper grains are larger than salt, but that is a question for another day).

Now, you may take Mr. Federal Way’s advice with a grain of salt, but some labels do have their place.

Mr. Federal Way appreciates that he can go straight to Fred Meyer’s men’s section to pick up a pack of socks without any surprises that may come in the form of underwires or hooks.

A newspaper is also inherently categorized — from the sports and business sections to the popular opinion section where you may read yours truly.

And if you know your alphabet, larger metropolitan newspapers even go so far as to divide its entire paper into sections, typically labeled A, B, C and so forth.

So why does everything have to have a label? In some cases, it’s to simplify our lives, to find things easier without having to second guess.

In this case, the Mirror will launch a three-month pilot project to include a monthly, one-page diversity section in an effort to better reflect the diverse community it serves. Sure, the staff of this newspaper is already cognizant of ethnic, sociological, gender and other forms of diversity — just peruse some past issues and you’ll find several stories that could go under the “diversity” label.

But the Mirror staff tell Mr. Federal Way they seek to ensure that diversity is a regular part of their coverage by offering this section, not just happenstance coverage.

To assist in this project, the Mirror is asking readers to complete a short survey of which the results will be published in the first diversity section on Jan. 8, 2016.

The survey can be taken at www.surveymonkey.com/r/8PMTWTZ

Mr. Federal Way is certain that all individuals featured in this new section will not be called out as anything other than a citizen of the Federal Way community, as these are many of the individuals who make up this great diverse city, with more than 120 first languages spoken here.

Mr. Federal Way applauds the Mirror’s efforts and hopes the information published in this new section will help us to learn about and embrace each other’s differences.

But Mr. Federal Way warns the editor of this newspaper not to get happy implementing too many labels, especially if they concern this columnist who has been labeled many things in this community.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, to say the students at Sequoyah Middle School behave badly is an understatement. My child attends this school and it’s so unfair to her that she can’t hear the math lessons because many of the other students are too noisy. I wish the district could take all these students and put them in some kind of alternative school to focus on their behavioral issues, but their parents would object, I’m sure. What would you do to solve this distracting dilemma?

A: Mr. Federal Way not-so-fondly recalls the loud snap of his father’s leather belt when Mr. Federal Way mumbled an expletive under his breath to his mother. The whipping left welts.

And when Mr. Federal Way got into the medicine cabinet to test what he thought was candy, his father put some ipecac syrup on a spoon, made Mr. Federal Way consume it and sent him outside on the front lawn with a bucket to vomit in for the next couple of hours.

Those days, that was called tough love.

Mr. Federal Way doesn’t subscribe to this corporal punishment with his own kids — as much as he’d like to sometimes — albeit Mr. Federal Way turned out well-behaved, despite contrary belief. Mr. Federal Way does not think the school district should take these drastic measures either with these students-gone-wild.

However, there is clearly a problem in Sequoyah classrooms and Mr. Federal Way doesn’t care if the behavioral issues came with the influx of new students or not.

Kids mimic other kids and if a handful of youngsters are acting out, you can bet that another handful will follow suit.

So what would Mr. Federal Way do to solve this dilemma? He would make sure the teachers of said classrooms, school administrators and parents are working together to target the repeat offenders and find out why they are acting out. Are they bored and need more projects to work on? Are those students struggling with attention deficit disorder or other conditions that need medical attention? Or are they just troublemakers whose behavior needs to be rectified by writing “I will not distract students from their school work” on the chalk board 1,000 times?

Whatever the case, Mr. Federal Way thinks Amy McGraw — the parent who formed Guardians and Parents as Partners — is on to something. The volunteer group will help teachers and staff manage students and behavioral issues.

Mr. Federal Way hopes these classroom volunteers will communicate with all the parents in the affected classrooms so those parents are also aware of the behavioral issues.

And if the parents of the true troublemakers are too busy to bother punishing their children, Mr. Federal Way would be glad to share some stories of tough love with their children to scare some sense into them.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I recall you recently revealed that one of the letters in your name is an “r.” Is there an “r” in your first name or last name?

A: None of your business.

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com