Q: Mrs. Federal Way, what do you think about plans to build a hotel next to the Performing Arts and Event Center? Does the city really need another hotel?
Those are good questions, darling. To answer your second first, Mrs. Federal Way can’t say whether the city NEEDS another hotel and frankly doesn’t care. She trusts whomever assumes ownership of said hotel has done the necessary due diligence to determine whether such a venture is prudent. And while Mrs. Federal Way is just speculating, the establishment intended to be built next to the PAEC is not likely going to be just any hotel, such as those built next to the highway or truck stop, the ones with basic cable, quilted bed spreads with patterns from the 1970s, towels the size of postage stamps and Wi-Fi that was installed last week. Don’t get Mrs. Federal Way wrong, those hotels and motels serve their purpose, and Lord knows she has stayed at plenty of them as Mr. Federal Way, forever stingy, is always looking for a way to save a buck when traveling. Which is why Mrs. Federal Way has assumed hotel-booking duties. No, it is likely the hotel built next to the PAEC is going to be a fancier, more-refined establishment, intended for a more specific audience. People who are seeking extravagant, posh accomodations — a place where they can have a glass of champs before meandering over to the PAEC for an evening’s performance before retiring back to a spacious room and king-sized bed with 800 thread-count sheets and Egyptian cotton towels. In other words, expensive. Now, can Federal Way sustain such a hotel? Who’s to say? But, if the company who takes over such a hotel thinks it can be a profitable venture, Mrs. Federal Way certainly isn’t going to discourage them.
Q: Mrs. Federal Way, have you seen the recently released list of performances for the Performing Arts and Event Center’s 2017-18 season? What do you think of the line up?
A: Yes, dearest, Mrs. Federal Way has seen the line up of acts who will perform during the PAEC’s inaugural season. In fact, Mrs. Federal Way eagerly waited for the day the performances were announced. And, unlike some people, such as Mrs. Federal Way’s charming, but skeptical, husband, Mrs. Federal Way is not interested in how many acts were booked or the number of performance dates scheduled. Mrs. Federal Way leaves all practical and hard-hitting questions to her husband. Mrs. Federal Way’s interest is purely superficial: Are the performances going to keep her entertained and Mr. Federal Way awake when he is forced to come along? So far, it’s looking good. It’s all about the Tacoma City Ballet and “The Nutcracker,” honey. The real question is what sort of experience will the facility offer the audience? Are the ballet dancers going to glide across the stage, graceful and fleet-footed, or, because of acoustics and other factors Mrs. Federal Way doesn’t care about, sound like a herd of elephants tromping through the jungle, drowning out the orchestra? Mrs. Federal Way has experienced both scenarios, darling, and the latter left her feeling like she had just watched the dancing hippos in Disney’s “Fantasia” rather than the fantastical Christmas classic she loves so much. Mrs. Federal Way will just have to see.
Q: Mrs. Federal Way, where do you and Mr. Federal Way plan to go on your summer vacation?
Another excellent question, but, unfortunately sweetheart, none of your business.
This column is produced by Mirror staff. Got a question for Mrs. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.
