Q: Mr. Federal Way, did you have an opportunity to visit with any of the local candidates running for the District 30 positions on election night?

A: Well of course Mr. Federal Way got to wine…dine and schmooze with Federal Way’s most elite. This is Mr. Federal Way you’re addressing here. The invites were in the mail weeks ago. But in all seriousness, Mr. Federal Way had the opportunity to rub elbows at both events. For your information, Mr. Federal Way didn’t pick a side. Mr. Federal Way allowed both parties, all four candidates to bask in his glorious presence. Both parties had different vibes to them and were both very different, respectively. For example, candidates Kristine Reeves and Mike Pellicciotti held their shindig at Round Table Pizza. Now, this was more Mr. Federal Way’s style. If it were socially acceptable for Mr. Federal Way to down pizza three meals a day, seven days a week, he’d partake. The Pellicciotti-Reeves party was an event that oozed hope and energy. Yuck. Not usually Mr. Federal Way’s crowd. But given the candidates, it was fitting. Republican incumbents Linda Kochmar and Teri Hickel held their event at the Twin Lakes Golf and Country Club banquet room. Much more of the AARP crowd here, hard candies and all. Much quieter group of folks. Mr. Federal Way didn’t know if it was nerves or just the usual country club crew. Mr. Federal Way saw quite the difference in personalities for candidate supporters. Many of the Hickel and Kochmar supporters took their ball and went home before official results had posted. And Pellicciotti and Reeves’ group partied late into the night. It was certainly quite a race, complemented by Federal Way’s finest.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what would you suppose a Thanksgiving in the Trump household looks like?

A: Well now look here. Mr. Federal Way knows he’s important and gets many important invites, but sadly Mr. Federal Way has never been to a Trump Thanksgiving. Wait, why is that not a CBS special yet? Wait. Why did Mr. Federal Way just say that out loud, giving away yet another genius money-making idea!? Also, Mr. Federal Way’s probably not the best person to ask. Mayor Jimmy Ferrell would be though. He’s basically Trump of Federal Way, and he probably has a spot at the table. It’s probably a H-UGE to do. Mr. Federal Way wonders if they wear matching outfits, do a Christmas name exchange, practice yelling at people who support them. If anyone has the ear of President-elect Ferrump, let him….or them…know. Mr. Federal Way wants in on that Turducken action. Wait, stop the presses. All this Trump and Ferrell talk is giving Mr. Federal Way a genius idea. One bigger than Trump’s venture in the United States Football League. Lean in close so you can visualize it with Mr. Federal Way. Ready? Ferrell and Mr. Federal Way for President, 2020.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, what’s your favorite pie to sample on Thanksgiving?

A: None of your business

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email your questions, complaints and hate mail to mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com. Staff written.