Sports

A look ahead

I wrote a similar column last year and none of my predictions came true in 2001. That’s 0 for 18, folks.

Even the elderly Michael Jordan is shooting better than that from the field. If I was a race horse with this poor performance, I would be headed for the glue factory.

But give me a break, I was only in Federal Way for two weeks when I made last year’s bold statements, none of which actually had to do with real sports in Federal Way (as one disgruntled reader angrily pointed out).

Thankfully, my income does not depend on reading crystal balls – my income could not purchase a crystal ball. I am paid to write about sports, more specifically sports in Federal Way.

This half-wit forecast is not meant to put undue stress on the teams and individuals mentioned herein. I only want to give fans hope for the new year. I don’t plan on being accurate in this instance, although that would be a nice side effect. Most of all, I hope my predictions don’t jinx anyone, especially myself.

If you disagree with any of my thoughts, send in a prediction of your own and I might print it – especially if I get a lot of them. This might make a good project for a high school English class, or even a math class, depending on whether your teacher is also a coach.

Predictions

1. Federal Way native and short track speed skater Apolo Ohno will win at least one Olympic gold medal and be on the cover of Sports Illustrated this year. This guy is faster on ice than a penguin with a rocket strapped to its back, and Ohno handles the corners better. The U.S. sports world will be looking for a Real American Hero, and Ohno will step up to the stage and deliver, setting a world record in the process. The only bad part is that Seattle will claim him as their own, forever pushing Federal Way out of the spotlight. Oh, if only our city was named Evergreen, that would change everything.

2. The Decatur boys soccer team will repeat as state champions. If they don’t let last year’s success get to their heads (and I don’t think I’m helping by writing this prediction), the Gators are the odds-on favorite to win state again. South Puget Sound League soccer coaches already fear the Year of the Gator. This team returns all but one starting player, including league MVP Alex Chursky. It’s a frightening thought to imagine a more mature, more cohesive and more experienced team than last year’s (which only allowed five goals all season – a fact I like to quote in everything I write about them because it speaks so loudly of their total dominance).

3. The Federal Way baseball team will repeat as SPSL champions. This team won state last year, but lost too many key players to return to the big show. Wait, don’t get mad. Cut this out and use it as motivation. This team has the heart and experience to make a surprising run through the district playoffs. The Eagles return key pieces of the puzzle in pitcher/second baseman Shea McFeely and first-baseman Travis Ishikawa. The key will be who steps up around them. Also, I predict Ishikawa will attend Oregon State University on a baseball scholarship. Oh wait, he already told me that.

4. A gymnast from this city will place in the top three at state. Good luck, whoever you are.

5. The King County Jaguars, a semi-professional football team that plays at Federal Way Memorial Field in the summer, will win the Pacific Northwest League championship. Unfortunately, only 35 fans will be there to see it.

6. The Weyerhaeuser King County Aquatic Center will perform a hostile takeover of the competing Willamette Aquatic Center. The new super center will be called the Weyerhaeuser Willamette King County Aquatic Center, making the name even longer and more ridiculous than it already is.

7. A golfer from this city will place in the top three at state, or at least have fun trying.

8. A Decatur wrestler will win state.

9. A swimmer will win state twice. Or, two swimmers will win state once. Mark my words.

10. With a freshly surfaced track, the Jefferson track team will run faster than ever this season, especially if the guy with the javelin goes berserk.

11. One of the city’s high school football teams will make the playoffs. A prediction of this caliber has only come true twice in the past 30 years. But it will happen again this year. If you are a football player reading this, put down the paper and start running wind sprints now. What are you waiting for?! Are you lazy? Run!

But if your football team doesn’t make the playoffs, don’t worry, there’s always next year. Or the year after that.

Cole Cosgrove is a sports writer for the Federal Way Mirror.

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