If you’re going to be freaked out about women’s safety, will you please at least be freaked out about real horrors and not those based on bigotry and fear that simply are not true?

I’m talking to you, bathroom police. I wish we could move on, but you insist on digging in and inciting fear that sexually predatory men are going to pretend to be trans women in order to attack women in restrooms.

Over here in Facts and Reality, USA, the people who are being harassed, attacked, and dragged out of restrooms with their pants half down are the trans people in said restrooms. In a story run by www.abcnews.com at the end of April, over 200 national, state, and local organizations across the U.S. that work with survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence issued a statement reiterating that no jurisdiction that has enacted nondiscriminatory laws about restrooms and changing rooms has seen an increase in sexual violence. It just doesn’t happen. It has been and remains illegal to assault another person in a changing room or restroom. Legalizing nondiscriminatory practices does not increase sexual violence.

Women, on the other hand, have actual reasons to be afraid. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence hotlines nationwide receive about 20,000 calls on a typical day — a typical day! One in three women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime (www.ncadv.org). Domestic violence — by people they know, who supposedly love them, and live in their home. Why don’t we all get more alarmed about this and throw our outrage, dollars, and legislation around to help prevent domestic violence?

Also legitimately scary: Each year about 293,000 people are sexually assaulted. Nine out of 10 of them are women. Most are assaulted by men. Yet the system around this is so broken that over 68 percent of victims never report their attack to the police, and 98 percent of rapists will never spend a day in jail or prison. And in case you’re thinking that those rapists are hanging out impersonating trans people in public restrooms, think again: Four out of five rapes are committed by someone known to the victim (www.rainn.org). How about we combine our social media memes, resources, and funds to start a huge educational campaign to make it cool to educate men about not assaulting women instead of making our daughters sit through how not to get assaulted?

And while we’re at it, how about if we quit making girls change their clothes because they are distracting boys? How about if, instead of continuing this ridiculous idea that women are responsible for men’s thoughts and actions, we have more faith in our young men? And let’s give them more education and skills about how to treat women with respect, dignity, and as human beings instead of objects for their pleasure who should be reined in if they distract a poor guy’s thoughts. That’s just demeaning to everyone.

Jaclyn Laferrier of Billings, Montana, recently posted, “You will never understand the fears I have walking home alone at night. You will never understand the pit in my stomach when someone cat calls me then drives back around to do it again. You will never understand how I don’t run alone with both earplugs in because I need to be on alert… Guess what I’m not afraid of? Sharing a bathroom with a person whose gender identity doesn’t match their sex chromosomes.”

If you are concerned about women’s safety, at least be concerned about the things that are real, not things small-minded people want you to be afraid of. Being armed with the truth will keep you much more safe.

Amy Johnson, MSW, is a trainer and educator in the Pacific Northwest. She is co-author of the books “Parenting by Strengths: A Parent’s Guide for Challenging Situations” and “Homegrown Faith and Justice.” Johnson specializes in working with parents and in sexuality education, and she serves in the national setting of the United Church of Christ promoting safe, healthy sexuality education and culture in faith communities. She can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.