June is Adult Sex Ed. Month, and before you roll your eyes, I assure you that this is not the latest toy review article (if that’s your thing, though, you might enjoy www.kinkly.com/topic/6/sex-toys).
In my experience, adults are often more messed up than youth when it comes to sexuality. Seriously, how many adults do you know who received a really fantastic sexuality education? Who have a wonderful body image that allows them to not second-guess invitations to the beach? Who don’t still use wonky euphemisms for genitals? Who can talk about sexuality in a matter-of-fact manner and not either (a) collapse into a fit of giggles and blushing, or (b) tell off-color sex jokes when the topic comes up?
With you in mind, adults of Federal Way, here are some holistic ways to think about your sexuality this month:
Savor your senses: Sensuality is a huge part of our sexuality and encompasses the ways we enjoy our senses. What do you love to taste? Hear? See? Touch? Smell? Enjoy some of the delicious fresh produce available this time of year, listen to music or nature, feel the touch of a soft breeze on your skin. Stop. Notice. Enjoy your body and what your senses provide you.
Make intimacy intentional: By “intimacy,” I’m not talking only about physical intimacy between two consenting adults. I’m talking about feelings and vulnerability. Who do you trust? With whom can you be vulnerable and feel safe? With whom do you enjoy spending time? Cultivate this emotional/heart component of yourself intentionally.
Know your identity IQ: Everyone has a sexual orientation and gender identity. What are yours? Do you identify as heterosexual (straight)? Gay? Something else (oh, yes, there’s so much more)? Female? Male? Neither? Both? In addition to knowing and owning who you are, practice a spirit of curiosity about others. Our community is diverse in many ways, and being curious instead of judgmental about each other is something that can make life richer and fuller.
Check out your check-ups: Sexual health is an important part of overall health. Make sure to have regular breast exams and pap smears if you have breasts and a cervix, and have regular testicular exams if you have testicles. If you are sexually active, you might choose to explore new and continually improving methods of contraception, and it’s a good idea to get tested for sexually transmitted infections every three to six months. If you are a young adult and have not had the HPV vaccine series yet, it may not be too late. These vaccines are proving to dramatically lower the rates of cancer-causing HPV strains in adults in our country, and who wouldn’t want a vaccine against cancer? If you are older and experiencing hormonal fluctuations and side effects, check with your medical practitioner for help alleviating symptoms causing pain or distress.
Scan for Sexualization: We live in a culture that sexualizes everything from breast-feeding to Halloween costumes to advertisements for phones and cars. Women continue to be much too marginalized and too often are treated like objects (just look at our domestic violence and sexual assault rates). Even more disturbing, we often –intentionally or unintentionally, overtly or subconsciously – blame them for being victims of abuse and assault. Speak out. When you hear someone being sexist or derogatory about any gender, speak out. Be a part of a solution, not a part of passively condoning a broken system.
And so, adults, I leave you to expanding and exploring your sexuality. Whether this month is an excuse to get started or an incentive to continue, I wish you much joy on your journey.
Amy Johnson, MSW, is the co-author of two books. She serves in the United Church of Christ promoting healthy sexuality education in faith communities and can be reached at comments@diligentjoy.com.
