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Milking the grading system cash cow | Q&A with Mr. Federal Way
Q: It’s the end of the year. Mr. Federal Way, what is your opinion on 2013 coming to an end?
A: Aside from being a great night to party, New Year’s Eve has always been a time for reflection. A time to look back on the last 12 months and take stock in both the good and the bad things that have happened.
Mr. Federal Way’s column started appearing in the Mirror on June 28 and the topics have ranged the spectrum of the ultra-serious to ultra-weird.
Some of Mr. Federal Way’s favorite topics during the last year included the “sexting” controversy of a Federal Way police officer, getting invited to a performance of the Federal Way Symphony after admitting that Mr. Federal Way is not a fan of the fine arts and opining about a Harvard study that shows eating bacon can cause men to produce lower amounts of healthy sperm. Very provocative stuff.
But Mr. Federal Way’s biggest topic during 2013 seemed to be the controversial standards-based grading system that the school district implemented before the school year. Mr. Federal Way milked that cash cow for all it was worth, fielding numerous questions from upset parents.
And, in the end, the school board and Superintendent Rob Neu finally relented recently and made changes to the system. Mr. Federal Way would like to think, in some small fashion, that Mr. Federal Way played a little role in bringing about the change. At least that’s what Mr. Federal Way tells himself.
It’s been a blast writing the Mr. Federal Way column every week. It’s actually a lot harder than Mr. Federal Way thought it would be when Mr. Federal Way agreed to pen the column.
Mr. Federal Way hopes everyone had a joyous 2013 and here’s toasting to an even better 2014. Thanks for reading.
Q: We have been having a lot of mail theft in our neighborhood lately. It’s very disheartening, especially around the holidays. What can we do to make sure this doesn’t happen anymore?
A: There isn’t a lot that’s more cowardly and frustrating as someone stealing your mail.
According to the Federal Way Police Department, there is always an uptick in mail theft during the holiday season, which is a shame.
A big suggestion would be getting your mail every day. Mr. and Mrs. Federal Way sometimes go days between collecting our mail. Who wants to look at bills every day after work?
Also, be sure to directly deposit your outgoing mail in a mail slot at the post office or hand it to the letter carrier. Don’t let it sit outside in your mailbox, unattended.
And keep a look out for suspicious people in your neighborhood, especially strangers who are rooting around mailboxes.
Q: What are Mr. Federal Way’s New Year’s resolutions?
A: In all honesty, Mr. Federal Way thinks New Year’s resolutions are for losers. Does anybody ever keep those promises they make themselves in a drunken stupor on New Year’s Eve?
Every year, Mr. Federal Way has to listen to all his buddies tell him that they are going to start “going to the gym” or they are going to “start eating better.” But a couple weeks later, I see that same guy at the bar eating potato skins with bacon, butter and cream cheese, sipping on a 36-ounce microbrew.
“Seems like those New Year’s resolutions are working out nice for you, bro.”
So, Mr. Federal Way’s New Year’s resolution is to not make a New Year’s resolution.
Q: Mr. Federal Way, what do you do on New Year’s Eve? What is your drink of choice and what types of appetizers do you like?
A: None of your business.
Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email firstname.lastname@example.org