Q&A with Mr. Federal Way: Perception is everything for schools

Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com. - Federal Way Mirror
Got a question for Mr. Federal Way? Email mrfederalway@federalwaymirror.com.
— image credit: Federal Way Mirror

Q: Mr. Federal Way, why do you keep picking on the school district? Didn’t your dad teach you not to hit a man when he’s down?

A: Mr. Federal Way believes the term is “shooting fish in a barrel.” That’s exactly how easy it’s been for Mr. Federal Way lately to criticize the school district. It may seem like Mr. Federal Way is “piling on,” but the stuff Mr. Federal Way is writing about is important stuff, in Mr. Federal Way’s mind.

Perception is everything. And the perception within Federal Way Public Schools right now is not real good, to put it lightly. But that’s just what happens when controversial decisions are made. People are now going over everything the school district does with a fine-tooth comb. In fact, last week it was revealed in The Mirror that four district employees made a trip to Ghana for the noblest of noble causes. The four educators helped build and paint schools in villages in the poverty-stricken country.

But, those good deeds are being overshadowed by a lack of confidence in everything the district is doing.

Posted on The Mirror’s website are comments like, “Brigadoon Elementary School needs paint too,” and “Ghana, really? I really think the kids in our school district need the money spent on them, not some ridiculous trip to Africa.”

Taxpayers are fed up with things like the ultra-controversial standards-based grading system, all-expenses paid trips to Europe, Asia, Africa and Central America, and the school board’s lack of urgency to do anything about all the negativity. Something has to change, just to help with the public perception.

Mr. Federal Way wonders what the teachers who go to work every day at schools around the district must be thinking about what is going on? Mr. Federal Way feels the most sympathy for the teachers.

Mr. Federal Way can’t even imagine the extra hours these teachers have devoted toward the implementation of three new grading systems in the past three years. And just like the corporate world, talented employees go where they can be more successful, which is what Mr. Federal Way fears with the teachers here. The good teachers want to teach. They don’t want to learn how to input a new grading system each and every year, or watch their bosses take trips around the world.

Support your kids’ teachers. They aren’t the ones to blame for this mess.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, it’s not very fair that you don’t have to put your “real” name on your opinions, but The Mirror makes everyone who writes a letter to the editor sign their name and their hometown. Why don’t you?

A: Short answer is that Mr. Federal Way doesn’t want to include Mr. Federal Way’s “real name.” Simple enough, right? As far as you know, Mr. Federal Way’s birth certificate lists Mr. Federal Way’s legal first name as “Mr.” and last name as “Federal Way.”

If you would like to send your résumé, go through the extensive interview process and finally get hired by the newspaper, more power to you. Then, after you are put on the Federal Way Mirror’s payroll as Mr. Federal Way’s boss, you can decide whether to make Mr. Federal Way use Mr. Federal Way’s real name.

But, until then, Mr. Federal Way will continue to not use Mr. Federal Way’s “real” name.

Mr. Federal Way will also continue writing whatever Mr. Federal Way wants to write about. And if you don’t like it, don’t read it. You are not going to hurt Mr. Federal Way’s feelings.

However, Mr. Federal Way appreciates all the loyal readers. It’s very touching. Mr. Federal Way is just trying to make a difference in this great city.

Q: It seems like every 5K race nowadays has a weird theme to it. Why?

A: Because most Americans are super lazy and need to have some type of gimmick to get off their couches and actually exercise.

It is pretty amazing just how strange organizers are getting with their themes to draw in runners.

The Color Run has become so popular in Seattle that it sells out before the actual race day. It’s where volunteers throw colored dust on the runners throughout the race.

Zombie runs are also all the rage right now, as are “mudders.” Zombie races include runners fitted with flags and makeup-clad volunteers dressed like zombies, attempting to steal those flags. Mud runs are pretty self-explanatory. You run through actual mud. Doesn’t sound like Mr. Federal Way’s cup of tea. But, to each their own.

There’s even 5K races that incorporate America’s penchant for over-eating. The Krispy Kreme Challenge calls for participants to run half the race, eat a dozen doughnuts, then run the other half.

No word if puke buckets were also available during the race.

Q: What is your favorite beer?

A: None of your business (unless you are buying).


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