Q&A with Mr. Federal Way: PACC, photo tickets, Seahawks

Mr. Federal Way - Mirror file
Mr. Federal Way
— image credit: Mirror file

Q: What is your opinion on the proposed Performing Arts and Conference Center (PACC) in Federal Way? Seems to be quite the controversial topic.

A: It’s true, there are a lot of people around town who are up in arms about the city constructing the $31.7 million, 700-seat arts center with a 3,000-square-foot conference space. But there are also a lot of people around town who wholeheartedly support the PACC. The city even has the dream of raising millions of dollars from donations, and already has pledges from numerous entities.

Preliminary designs include green landscapes and up to 170 parking spots, along with an option to build a hotel on the 4-acre site on 20th Avenue South at the graffiti-laden former Toys ‘R’ Us site.

Mr. Federal Way just can’t see a Performing Arts and Conference Center prospering enough to justify the hefty price tag. Are there enough people living in South King County who would be willing to shell out their hard-earned money to see a performance by some super-talented musicians or to watch “Romeo and Juliet?”

But, Mr. Federal Way will wholeheartedly admit that the “fine arts” aren’t Mr. Federal Way’s cup of tea. That clouds Mr. Federal Way’s opinion on the PACC, obviously. Mr. Federal Way would much rather drive to Seattle to watch Russell Wilson run around than watch Mikhail Baryshnikov (the only ballet dancer Mr. Federal Way has ever heard of) jump around in tights. And, like Russell Wilson, Mr. Federal Way would assume that top talents, like Baryshnikov, will skip over Federal Way for the bigger stages in Seattle. That would leave the Federal Way PACC with the junior varsity, so to speak.

Mr. Federal Way’s only foray into a live performance of the “fine arts” came years ago when Mrs. Federal Way forced a “date night,” which included watching a performance of “The Nutcracker” at the Seattle Center with a bunch of friends. During the pre-ballet meal, Mr. Federal Way “might” have had too many adult beverages at the restaurant bar and “might” have fallen asleep well before the Sugar Plum Fairies danced around the stage.

Needless to say, Mr. Federal Way was in the proverbial doghouse for quite a while. The only silver lining to the story is Mrs. Federal Way has never asked Mr. Federal Way to accompany her to another ballet, theatre or symphony performance.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, I got a ticket from one of those red-light cameras for not making a complete stop at an intersection. What are your recommendations for getting the ticket dropped?

A: Man, it sucks anytime you get a ticket. It especially sucks when you get caught by a machine and not a real cop. It feels yucky when Big Brother’s ever-present eye catches you being bad. But, the answer to your question is quite simple. Mr. Federal Way’s recommendation is to make a complete stop at the intersection next time.

Q: Mr. Federal Way, are you excited for the upcoming Seattle Seahawks season? How do you think they will do?

A: Is Mr. Federal Way excited about the Seahawks? How could you not be?

The team has the legitimate look of a Super Bowl champion. Seattle is stacked on offense, returns the statistically-best defense from a season ago, and still has some electricity on special teams, despite the injury to Percy Harvin.

All the hype surrounding the Seahawks entering the 2013-14 season scares Mr. Federal Way just a little bit. All the praise and expectations being thrown on the back of second-year quarterback Russell Wilson also scares Mr. Federal Way.

Obviously, it looks like Wilson is the type of person who can handle the pressure. We have to remember that defenses have had a full off-season to prepare for Wilson’s unique abilities at the quarterback position. Mr. Federal Way guesses it’s the prototypical “Seattle sports fan” mentality that has crept in regarding the Seahawks. Pacific Northwest fans have been known to expect the worst when it comes to our beloved teams. That’s just what happens when our only major professional championship came back in 1979 when the Sonics won the NBA title.

Mr. Federal Way vows to take an optimistic approach to the upcoming Seahawks season. Mr. Federal Way is going to take it game-by-game and just sit back and enjoy the ride. Go Hawks.


We encourage an open exchange of ideas on this story's topic, but we ask you to follow our guidelines for respecting community standards. Personal attacks, inappropriate language, and off-topic comments may be removed, and comment privileges revoked, per our Terms of Use. Please see our FAQ if you have questions or concerns about using Facebook to comment.

Read the Oct 21
Green Edition

Browse the print edition page by page, including stories and ads.

Browse the archives.

Friends to Follow

View All Updates