Q&A with Mr. Federal Way: Elections and garage sales

Mr. Federal Way - Mirror file
Mr. Federal Way
— image credit: Mirror file

Q: Mr. Federal Way, do you bother voting in the primary election, or do you just wait for the real thing in November?

A: Whenever there is an opportunity to cast a ballot, Mr. Federal Way will make the effort to do so. Although it probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, Tuesday’s primary election finalized the two participants who will battle each other in November’s general election.

It’s also our right as Americans to vote in a democratic election. We need to take full advantage of that. It’s also our right as Americans to complain about things you don’t agree with.

But Mr. Federal Way’s opinion is that you can’t complain about the happenings in our local, state or federal government if you don’t vote.

It’s also Mr. Federal Way’s opinion that no one should ever wear those “I voted” stickers that you get at your local booth. Stuff like that reminds Mr. Federal Way of Chris Rock’s old comedy bit about a guy defending himself by saying, “I take care of my kids.” That’s exactly what you are supposed to do, buddy. Just like you are supposed to vote.

Q: Is there a rule about how long a so-called garage sale can last? A “garage sale” by my house has lasted all summer long.

A: That’s kind of tough to take. Nobody wants to live next to a perma-garage sale. As far as Mr. Federal Way can figure out, Federal Way doesn’t have a rule about the length of a garage sale. It seems like the perma-garage sale in your neighborhood is skirting the need to purchase a business license.

The City of Dallas passed an ordinance recently that puts a cap on how many garage sales a resident can hold (two per year) and how long the sales can last (no more than three consecutive days). Residents are also required to obtain a permit and pay a $15 fee.

Mr. Federal Way finds it hard to believe that people actually spend time during the weekend driving around from garage sale to garage sale. Seems like a giant waste of time to Mr. Federal Way. You are essentially buying somebody else’s junk that has been sitting in their attic for the past few years. If Mr. Federal Way needs something, Mr. Federal Way goes to the store and buys it. But, to each their own.

Q: What happened to the world sand sculpting competition that’s been in Federal Way for the past few summers? I don’t see anything about its return this year.

A: You haven’t seen anything because it’s not coming back to town. According to the Northwest Sand Festival website, there “will not be a 2013 Northwest Sand Festival.”

The World Championship of Sand Sculpting came to Federal Way in 2010 after spending nearly 20 years in Harrison Hot Springs, B.C. The 2010 competition, held at a vacant parking lot at 31510 20th Ave. S., attracted 19,848 paying guests. Despite garnering regional and nationwide media attention over the course of a month, the event finished nearly $50,000 in debt. In 2011, nearly 11,000 people attended the event in the former Toys ‘R’ Us parking lot. Last year, the competition was moved to The Commons parking lot, and attendance sagged behind the 2011 numbers.

No offense to Mr. Federal Way’s hometown, but a parking lot in a South King County city and sand sculpting don’t seem like a good pairing. Mr. Federal Way thinks that a place near the water would be a better location. Maybe on the Washington or Oregon coast, like Seaside or Ocean Shores. Possibly some place like Gas Works Park in Seattle?



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