Opinion

Enhance your brain power in Federal Way | Andy Hobbs

Host: Welcome back to the show. I’m your host, Howie Smellsfunny. We’re talking to random men about Federal Way Brain Lotion. This all-natural product is guaranteed to stimulate your senses while creating a healthier, wiser and more vibrant you. Excuse me, sir. Have you tried Federal Way Brain Lotion?

Man #1: You bet. I feel the effects within seconds of applying it. I’m a local developer who wants to build three skyscrapers in Federal Way. Once I started using Brain Lotion, my company was able to convince the city council that we’ve got a few hundred Korean investors lined up, ready to spend millions in exchange for green cards.

Host: That’s quite a feat. Would you say Brain Lotion boosts your luck?

Man #1: Absolutely. The more lotion I use, the luckier I feel. I’m visiting Korea in hopes of finding 300 millionaires who will invest in this project before Federal Way catches on that we’re wasting everyone’s time. In fact, I plan to pack just one change of clothes, a toothbrush, my iPod and two bottles of Brain Lotion.

Host: Sounds like you’ve got a busy trip ahead. Thanks for sharing your story. Let’s talk to this gentleman over here. Sir, have you tried Federal Way Brain Lotion?

Man #2: I discovered Brain Lotion around the same time I heard about a Federal Way cafe with bikini baristas. I wondered why these coffee shops attract so much criticism. I took it upon myself to research these bikini baristas every day. If I stay home from work, I’ll go three or four times a day.

Host: How did Federal Way Brain Lotion help your research?

Man #2: Brain Lotion marked a breakthrough in self-discovery. It gave me a sense of purpose as well as increased stamina. I’m also researching adult video stores, strip clubs and the Lingerie Football League. These local women earn a living just like everyone else. I’m just doing my part to keep them in business.

Host: Thank you for the feedback. We’ve got time for one more interview. Excuse me, sir. How has Brain Lotion helped you?

Man #3: Thanks to Federal Way Brain Lotion, I’m much less agitated over divisive political issues. I also feel more confident in sharing my opinions about candidates. Brain Lotion provided a wonderful diversion in this bitter election season.

Host: What does your wife think about it?

Man #3: Our communication is much more honest and open these days. In fact, she’s even a bit jealous. Her last words to me this morning were, “I hope you and your Brain Lotion are happy together.”

Host: There you have it, folks. This is living testimony to the power of Federal Way Brain Lotion. When used as directed, Federal Way Brain Lotion is an effective tool for relieving built-up tension and pressure, allowing you to focus on the details that really matter. Likewise, you can rest assured of this product’s safety because it has been tested on animals.

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