The following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:

Beamer fight: At 7:25 a.m. on Oct. 31 at Todd Beamer High School, school administrators investigated a fight between two female students in the school’s locker room. The administrators reported that no assault had taken place and police involvement was not necessary. Officers noted the females had “both suffered minor injury to their face.” The students were sent home and parents were notified; administrators did not want to pursue disruption of school environment charges. The police record was generated for informational purposes only.

Dog attacks pedestrian: At 5:04 p.m. on Oct. 31 in the 35000 block of 11th Avenue Southwest, a miniature Australian shepherd charged a woman and bit her pantleg as she walked home. The woman was not injured. The dog owners told police they chose to have the dog humanely euthanized; they were issued a civil infraction for public nuisance.

Woman receives harassing texts: At 7:08 a.m. on Nov. 1 in the 33000 block of 26th Place Southwest, a woman reported receiving harassing texts from an unknown person. The woman told police she received a text message saying the sender had seen an advertisement offering a “Halloween date with a freaky lady,” giving instruction to call for “Dinner and a movie” and suggesting ways to receive oral sex. The victim did not know how her number got posted but suspected her ex-boyfriend was responsible. Police recommended the woman obtain a No Contact Order and change her number. No crime was committed and the police record was generated for informational purposes.

Man needs FBI to check tainted room: At 8:52 a.m. on Nov. 1 in the 1200 block of South 320th Street, one officer responded to two different calls in less than an hour on the same subject in the same location. A man had been yelling profanities and saying his room “was being tainted and he needed the FBI to test it.” The responding officer noted his “aggressive behavior was escalating” and he “was a danger to himself and others,” so the officer used a “crossface takedown” to control the man as he attempted to leave the scene. No injuries were noticed and the man did not complain of injury, and he was involuntarily committed.

Clowns rob store: At 9:18 p.m. on Nov. 1 in the 33000 block of Pacific Highway South, two suspects wearing pulled-up hoodies and “clown masks” entered a store, presented a handgun, and demanded cash. The pair fled after emptying the till. Area checks turned up nothing, no video was available, and the total cash lost was not determined at the time of the report.

Jefferson fight: At 12:29 p.m. on Nov. 2 at Thomas Jefferson High School, the School Resource Officer for Jefferson responded to a fight between two female students. When the SRO arrived he saw one of the students “actively resisting a staff member.” The student was detained after ignoring repeated commands from the officer to stop resisting. The officer recommends charging the student with disrupting school activity and resisting arrest.

Mother killed someone with car. Probably. Maybe: At 12:50 p.m. on Nov. 2, a man called the Federal Way Police Department to report that his mother had committed vehicular homicide in Federal Way at some point in 2004. The man said he believed she’d committed the crime due to her exhibiting “odd behavior” like garaging her vehicle for several weeks, disposing of her vehicle for scrap, and leaving the state suddenly for a vacation. Officers checked on the woman and the vehicle in question and found it had been involved in two accidents in 2005, neither of which were hit-and-runs, and that the vehicle was scrapped after the second accident resulted in a total loss. The officers further noted that no unsolved fatal hit-and-run cases were reported in 2004. This case was marked inactive.

Well-known transient might have issued threat: At 9:45 p.m. on Nov. 4 in the 35000 block of Enchanted Parkway South, officers responded to a woman reporting her daughter, while using the ATM in a BECU, was approached by an unknown man with a black cloth over his face who said what the daughter believes was, “Put your hands up or I’ll shoot.” Woman who called said she didn’t hear that, but when her daughter reported the incident the two ran out, leaving behind the bank card. The man did not try and take anything and left behind them. The description of the man matched that of a “well-known transient who suffers from drug addiction and mental health issues.” No further information was available.

Elderly woman missing: At 10:36 p.m. on Nov. 4 in the 31000 block of 23rd Avenue South, facility staff reported that an 84-year-old female patient had gone missing. She was last seen at 9 p.m. The woman suffers from dementia and “often wanders away from the facility.” A sweep of the facility, a nearby hospital, and neighboring establishments were negative, and a missing persons alert and a silver alert were initiated.

Room invaded while victim present: At 12:07 p.m. on Nov. 5 in the 28000 block of 13th Avenue South, the victim was sleeping in his second-story bedroom when he heard the room’s window being forced open. The victim pretended to sleep while two people entered his room and stole several pairs of shoes valued at $1,690. The victim alerted his mother to what had happened, but she did not call 911. In the morning, his mother caller her adult daughter and told her what had happened, and the daughter called 911. The victim believes the suspects are schoolmates of his.

Cruising for a haunting : At 2:11 p.m. on Nov. 5 in the 37000 block of Pacific Highway South, a cemetery employee reported that someone the evening prior had knocked over a headstone — a large, cross-shaped headstone. No damage was observed, but the headstone “was too heavy to put back into place.” There were no witnesses and no suspects, and the cemetery worker wanted the incident documented for informational purposes.

Undressing man flails in street: At 1:00 a.m. on Nov. 6 in the 4600 block of Southwest 320th Street, a man was observed standing in the middle of the street, taking off his clothes and swinging his arms. He smelled strongly of “burnt marijuana.” The man was involuntarily committed, and a search of him revealed “foil and narcotics bags consistent with heroin use.”

Elderly man threatens staff, demands medicine: At 6:58 a.m. on Nov. 6 in the 1000 block of South 308th Street, officers were dispatched to reports of a disorderly patient. The subject, a male, was “very agitated” and holding a piece of his broken cane. He said the staff were liars and he wasn’t receiving his medication as he banged the broken pieces of his cane on his walker. He said he would acquire his medication by force and assault the staff if he had to. A witness said the man had approached the nursing station and started cursing at her while hitting the desk and other furniture with his cane, which he had broken after hitting the desk. He then picked up pieces of his broken cane and started throwing the pieces around the room. The witness said, “He is a threat to the staff and residents! I don’t feel safe!” Other staff members said the same. The man was involuntarily committed.