Following is a sample from the Federal Way police log:
Streaking: At approximately 4:34 p.m. near the 1600 block of SW 351st St., officers contacted an individual running through a neighborhood at the listed location naked and tipping over trash cans. The person was confrontational and didn’t make sense when she spoke. According to the police report, she was at risk of being struck by a vehicle or assaulted based on her behavior. Police said she has some unknown mental or medical problem.
Elementary school fire: At approximately 4:55 p.m., officers responded to a call of a fire being set in a trash can in a bathroom at Panther Lake Elementary. South King Fire and Rescue was called as well as a King County fire investigator.
Lead pipe breaks door: At approximately 7:14 a.m. near the 1100 block of S347th Place, an unknown suspect threw a piece of a lead pipe through the front doors of the animal hospital at the listed location. The owner was contacted by the alarm company but did not respond. The employees were not able to access any CCTV footage either. The hospital was advised to call 911 back if they found anything missing or got access to the CCTV footage.
Cartoon-style attempted robbery: At about 1:36 p.m. at the Key Bank at 1918 SW Campus Drive, officers responded to a call of a potential robbery. An unknown male entered the location wearing an obviously fake beard and mustache and then walked out without conducting any business. According to one of the bank tellers, he stepped up to the counter and said, “I wanted to make a deposit” followed by, “I’ll be back.” He then left the business and did not return. The manager thinks he was about to commit a robbery but was intimidated by the male customers and employees in the business. The subject is described as a white male in his 30s, approximately 6 feet tall, with a medium build and wearing a gray beanie, fake beard and mustache, a maroon Carhartt and gray pants. No vehicle was seen. No physical altercation or threats were made.
Coke machine camage: At approximately 6:26 p.m. near the 1900 block of SW Campus Drive, a maintenance worker called 911 to report a juvenile male breaking into the Coke machine at the south side of the office. When he attempted to confront the individual he was told to “f*** off.” Maintenance said there is some damage to the machine and it’s unknown if the child was able to take anything. He then fled on foot and was not located.
Assault with a stick: At approximately 2:20 a.m. near the 29400 block of Pacific Highway S., officers arrested a man who was seen naked with a stick in the middle of Pacific Highway. According to the report, he was tased by a victim after assaulting said victim.
Gunshot wound victim: At approximately 1:06 p.m. near the 30005 block of 2nd Place SW, officers responded to a victim with a single gunshot wound to the chest while inside the listed location. The victim and witnesses did not provide any suspect information and the victim was transported to the hospital for treatment. This is an active felony investigation.
Drive-by shooting: At approximately 4:18 p.m. near Mark Twain Elementary school, officers responded to a call about a possible drive-by shooting. When officers arrived, both a school bus and a passenger vehicle were both struck by potential rounds. It was quickly established the gunshots on the vehicles were made by a BB gun. Only minor damage was sustained to both vehicles, no kids were on board the bus at the time of the incident. No ssuspect information was available at the time of the report, and no witnesses came forward.
Stolen puppy: At approximately 7:16 p.m. near the Federal Way Library on 1st Avenue South, a victim called 911 after leaving her car in the parking lot of the library and returning to find her child’s backpack and mixed-breed puppy gone and her window smashed out. No witnesses, or suspects of CCTV footage were available.
Public disturbance: At approximately 2:49 p.m. near the 34700 block of Pacific Highway S., officers responded to a call of a woman rambling about wanting sex and speaking incoherently about human trafficking and rape. According to the report, she dropped to the ground in a public setting at the listed location, stripped to her underwear and did the splits/started twerking. She also kept yelling at random people trying to intimidate them. The woman set garbage on fire at a gas station. Several witnesses called 911 to report her strange behavior, including flashing passing cars and taking her pants off in front of witnesses.