News

Group for divorced women focuses less on men-bashing and more on healing

By AILEEN CHARLESTON, The Mirror

Most people who have gone through a divorce say that adjusting to single life is never easy.

Recent divorcee Amanda Landon decided that women in Federal Way shouldn’t have to face the hardships of divorce alone.

With the online help of Craigslist, she is putting together a single-divorced women’s group.

“Women often feel a loss of purpose after a divorce, and many times they need other friends to do things with,” Landon said.

The group’s main objective will be to have fun and meet other women who went through, or are currently going through, a similar situation, Landon said.

“The primary focus will be on lifting each other’s spirits, having fun and learning things from each other,” she said.

Landon emphasized that she wishes to avoid having the group’s monthly meetings turn into men-bashing sessions. Her main goal is for the group to help women acquire new incentives in life.

Shirley St. James, who replied to Landon’s ad on Craigslist.org, moved to Federal Way a year ago after her divorce. St. James said that in her case, being an unemployed senior citizen makes it very hard to connect with people.

“I want to network with other women, someone you can call and say, ‘Hi, do you want to catch a movie?’” St. James said. “There’s still a huge double standard in society where a lot of things that can be done by men, women can’t.”

Landon and St. James also said that being divorced makes it harder to relate to most married friends whose interests tend to be different from theirs.

“I dated the same person for eight and a half years and was married to him for six more years,” Landon said. “After I got divorced, I started dating a lot, which sounds like a good thing at first, but you can get overwhelmed by the people you meet. I had a need for doing more productive things,” she said.

The group’s official name will be decided as more members join, but some of the rendezvous ideas Landon designed include twice-monthly meetings for appetizers, hikes, drinks or conversations.

“The possibilities are endless and all the ideas will be considered and respected,” Landon wrote on her Craigslist ad.

On that same ad, Landon also encouraged women of all ages and experiences to participate. “There is no religious affiliation with this group, or sales pressure to buy candles, cookware, purses or jewelry, although we can and will support each other’s endeavors to the extent we are able to,” she said.

St. James said that a couple of times in the past, she tried forming a singles club online, but got discouraged because those who did reply either did not have enough time or lived too far away.

“The groups like this that I know of are in Seattle and Bellevue. I don’t know of any here in Federal Way,” St. James said.

Landon said that after a divorce, it is difficult for people to figure out what to do and who to do it with. The group’s main initiative is to serve as a tool for women who are single, divorced or widowed to adapt a new lifestyle — and make new friends along the way.

“Join us and get a life,” St. James said.

Contact Aileen Charleston: acharleston@fedwaymirror.com

We encourage an open exchange of ideas on this story's topic, but we ask you to follow our guidelines for respecting community standards. Personal attacks, inappropriate language, and off-topic comments may be removed, and comment privileges revoked, per our Terms of Use. Please see our FAQ if you have questions or concerns about using Facebook to comment.
blog comments powered by Disqus

Read the Nov 21
Green Edition

Browse the print edition page by page, including stories and ads.

Browse the archives.

Friends to Follow

View All Updates