Love really just happens, so snap out of it

Most people desire true love. Why else would they pursue it relentlessly, even risking becoming victims of relationships?

Oh, sure, love is beautiful, all-powerful, passionate, sensual and everything that can be found in soap operas and Harlequin Romances. But it’s time to snap out of it all.

Society has practically made it an obligation to have a significant other. But that is so not true. Tradition, various religions and personal beliefs hold that staying single is going against the forces of nature, and other gibberish like that.

Everybody has the ability to live single and independent lives. If that special someone is found, that’s good. But don’t think that it is required to be in a relationship. Such thoughts can lead to desperateness. After all, phone hotlines for singles, dating shows (which can lead to utter humiliation), love-themed chat rooms and other ways people come up with to score dates are for desperate people. People claim that true love has been found through such mediums, but it’s still a bit pathetic. Relationships should happen naturally.

A single person who is feeling depressed on Valentine’s Day is depressing in itself. Learn to live independently. Pursue interests, set goals and take the time to see what life really intends.

Some people are better off alone for the time being. Women, especially, should brush off rude comments such as, “Gosh, there must be something wrong with her if she’s still not married!”

It has been said that there is someone for everyone. If that’s true, that special someone is bound to show up one day. Until then, stay put. Two people who clearly don’t love each other but marry anyway because the other seems decent enough will only have regrets.

For others, their greatest worry is dying alone, and so they marry merely to seize the moment. Carpe diem doesn’t always work.

As for relationships in general, people find themselves stuck in unsatisfying relationships, yet they are reluctant to break them off. This is truer for women who won’t break up with, for example, abusive boyfriends because either they feel the need for a relationship, or they always hang on to the possibility that their boyfriends truly love them and that they will change their ways. This condition is prevalent among women with unhappy childhoods who feel lost and need someone to rely on. Women need to stand firm and break away from hurtful relationships, because it is better to be alone and unhurt.

A relationship should start only if there are real sparks. Say a desperate woman meets a guy who is interested in her but she doesn’t find him attractive. Should she give him a shot because she’s desperate and he just might turn out to be a great guy? No. Never settle for the similar one, and certainly not the opposite. If the perfect one can’t be found, it won’t hurt to do without until there’s a bend in the road.

One can see why adults become desperate, but teens? They shouldn’t be desperate for relationships at all. The melodramas that go on in their lives are amusing. What is not amusing is the fact that teens can mess up their lives for good during high school, where there are so many distractions.

High school is when the future is decided. There are those who become parents before they are of legal age. Some turn their lives around before it’s too late, but it isn’t easy.

There is no obligation when it comes to relationships. Having integrity and independence are more worthwhile. One thing I will never feel pity for is a person suffering from unrequited love. No one should have such low self-esteem to be hurt by unreturned affections. Find someone who is attracted to you. For the time being, suck the marrow out of life and let your worries go.

Sovereigna Jun is a senior at Thomas Jefferson High School.

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